Humans get lonely, that’s why I bring mine to a café whenever we go exploring for new and familiar sniffs. He gets to meet other people, and I get to study them. Also, the human next to the loud whirring machine gives me snacks, but don’t tell mine or he’ll tap my belly like eating is wrong or something. I’m sort of the guy around here, everyone wants to speak to me and that means my human gets to be less lonely while they fuss over me.

Today is different, lots of my friends are here but he isn’t taking me to see them. He’s just sat in the corner sipping his bitter drink. I’m not sure why he likes that stuff, it made me sneeze when I tried some. He keeps looking up at the human in the corner, she’s not my friend she hasn’t been here before, her head fur is bright red and folded into strange patterns. He must be trying to figure out what it means. I will find out later.

My human isn’t interested in making friends today, I’ll have to do the work. Flowers is here; she likes to sit with the one who smells like trees and mud. I like him. I wonder if she still remembers how I like to be scratched, best check so she doesn’t forget.

Oooh that’s the stuff, her hands are soft and smell like flowers. She always knows how to get the spot, is that a treat on the table next to her bitter drink, oh no it’s tree man’s drink. His fangs are so straight and white and he just loves showing them to me, I don’t mind too much, humans are always showing me their fangs. Maybe if I show him my tummy, he might give me the table treat. Ewww his hands are all wet, why is he touching my belly I wanted the treat tree man! Flowers seems angry at him too, she’s making loud noises and isn’t paying attention to me anymore.

Where is human, he shouldn’t be sat alone anymore I come here for him after all. Red fur! What’s he doing with red fur she hasn’t even said hello to me yet. I’ll have to sniff her, then we can know if she’ll be nice to my human or not.

One last look around and I’ll check her. The man with the rustling brick contraption is sat on the long comfy chair. Jumpy lady is sat by the exit; she always brings her feet up like I’m going to touch her or something. There are some little humans, I love the little ones they are so friendly and make funny quick breathing noises when I lick their faces.

Hello human, who is this with the strange patterns of fur? Red fur seems to be putting her hand out in greeting, why is human staring at her and curling his lips like that. He’s barely blinking.

Her hand smells of something tasty, almost like those strange treats human brings home sometimes with the holes in the middle. It’s a nice smell; her hands are warmer than most. HEY, what does she think she’s doing with that other hand. Don’t go too close to my chin pattern head or I’ll show you my chewers.

She’s not backing off. One scratch but make it a good one.

How is rustle man, he keeps looking at the nice counter lady who gives me the sugary white cup. How can he not notice me, I’ll jump up on the chair with him.

Counter lady is looking back now, he’s pointing at me and raising his shoulders, I’m fairly sure that’s a good thing. I could get used to this chair, if only I could have this and flower scented ear scratches, now that would be perfect. Let me find her. He barely moved when I jumped off and human is still with red fur, he keeps leaning in but I think she is in pain as every time he does it she leans back and makes those funny quick breathing noises.

Flowers is a different colour to usual and louder too, tree man almost seems scared of her and both their fangs are hidden now. They are always together, usually they sit closer together. Best come over and tilt my head so she gives me more scratches.

Where is tree man going, he’s all red now. He’s leaving, perfect time for scratches. Did he have to make such a bang, that was as scary as one of the bang bang nights with all the flashing lights and the cheering.

The treat is still on the table, if I move very slowly maybe it won’t escape. Just lean slightly and POUNCE! I’ve got it time to run. Flower lady is coming with me she must have grabbed something too. I’ll run and hide with rustle, back to the comfy chair. Flowers is coming too, it’s perfect.

This chair is so soft but too small for the three of us, I won’t make rustle move I’ll just lie on him instead. He’s talking to flowers now and she’s still red but has strange water coming from her eyes.

Strange humans, rustle was ignoring me but now flowers comes along and his eyes are open and did he just wipe the water off her face? This is happy, flowery ear scratches on the comfy chair and a belly full of treats, I could just close my eyes. Maybe I will.

There’s that high pitched quick breathing sound again, oh it’s the tiny humans maybe I should say hello. Don’t get distracted, check on human. Where is he? Pattern fur is still in the corner but human is gone. Maybe counter human knows, wait there he is.

He’s getting more bitter drink, we never stay this long. Has he got two? We must be staying for ages. I’ll say hello to the tiny ones.

They are always so excited to see me, this is the welcome I deserve. They even let me lick their faces. The strange thing about the little humans, they can’t seem to keep track of their fangs. Always showing me that they’ve lost some, not surprising as they always have their hands in their mouth wiggling them around.

They are running around the café, I hope human doesn’t mind if I chase them. Last time I got excited he got loud at me but he seems busy with red fur and the little ones are so happy to be chased. Human taught me to keep my chewers hidden during these games, chewers are for food. Humans aren’t for tasting, he lets me lick them though. Odd I’ve never seen him lick any faces, but he doesn’t make friends as easily as me. I’m glad human is making a friend, even if she has strange fur. I wonder how that’s going, maybe I’ll introduce him to my little humans. They are chasing me now, it’s quite the game.

Human! She’s drinking your bitter drink, he’s ignoring it but looking right at her.

Time to do the lap test, hope she makes room. Put my weight on my back legs and push, ready and JUMP. She catches me, it seems she saw me coming. I’m closer now and she smells similar to flowers, but sweeter, more like food. Maybe this is why human is paying so much attention, he must be hungry, that’s why he keeps showing her his fangs.

Human is so kind, he looks like he does when I curl up on his lap. Like he would never leave if that was a choice. He must really like the bitter drink today, and red fur seems alright. She’s very comfortable. Might get some more sleep, as human doesn’t plan to leave yet.

I can see rustler and flowers from here, I’m not sure who is who though his arms seem to be on her back and hers are around his shoulders. Her face is back to normal, except for the red streaks.

They are leaving together; humans are strange. They refuse to say hello to others but then one time they do and then they leave together. She’s coming over, couldn’t leave without saying goodbye, I’ll lift one ear in greeting to let her know I see her. She’s showing her fangs again, it makes me feel warm. Flowers leans over me and makes the same noise human does when I bring him the roll of rustle stuff in the mornings, Fff aank u? I didn’t bring her a rustle roll; she must be confused.

The animal behind the cage in the corner is always warm and roars at me, I’ll curl up in front of it while human and red fur become friends, I guess she’s not that bad.

He looks so happy from here, I could sleep and let him have his fun. After all he didn’t stop me chasing the tiny humans.

The roaring creature behind me is still warm, red fur has been around us for a while now. I don’t mind as she gives me special circle treats with holes in the middle and the house always smells like them; it’s the best smell. Other than my human of course.

We still come to the café to make friends but today is special. Before we left human showed me what looked like a small shiny circle treat in a fuzzy box. He seemed very excited about it.

He’s getting out of his chair, are we leaving already? He must have dropped something as he’s on the floor in the strangest way, one knee up one knee down. I’ll teach him how to sit someday, as it was soooo important I learnt it. Now red fur is out of her chair too, he’s got the fuzzy box in his hand, and they both have the odd water on their faces.

Red fur and my human seem very happy, they are always dancing in the treat making room and very often they shut me out of the sleep room and dance in there too.

Today we’re back at the café but this time it’s red fur with the box; it has a strange white stick in it. She showed it to me but then never threw it so I wasn’t sure how to fetch it for her, I don’t think she understood the game.

I thought human would show her, but when he saw it, he just grabbed her and pulled her really close and squeezed. I don’t mind, I always wanted him to make friends and now he has.

Red fur got really big for a while, then when she shrunk again the whole place got noisier and a little human started running around, before long she grew again like I do when I eat too many treats.

I don’t bring human to the café much anymore, we have friends at home now after all, sometimes we come in to say hi because they love me here. Today is one of those days, I brought human and he brought red fur and the two little red furs. I don’t mind them being here even if it is my place.

They are all my humans now, there is enough of me to share.