The Nights Are About To Get Quieter… And Colder
Many years ago, I lived on the bottom floor of a shared house, and a married couple lived on the top floor. I was very shy at the time and…[...]
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Paging Aretha Franklin
My husband has had a particularly awkward day at work.Husband: “I wish I could stop looking like a moron in front of people I respect.”Me: “Well, you could just stop…[...]
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He Created A Slippery Situation
My husband is from France but speaks perfect English. He occasionally has issues but they are rare. He and I are talking about Chinese food and how he hates it…[...]
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We Thought It Was Creepy Pasta, Not Creepy Pizza
It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m working with my shift manager and one other driver. Out of the three of us, I have the lowest rank but the most experience by…[...]
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So, Was The Boyfriend Flirting With The Bird, Then?
I inherit an African Grey from my grandfather when he dies. Like all parrots, he is very smart and had picked up lots of words and phrases over time, but…[...]
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This Ain’t It, Chief
(As a pet-sitter and dog-walker, I’m used to strange hours around the holidays to accommodate all the dogs and cats that need care while their families are out of town.…[...]
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When A Mad TV Sketch Goes Awry
(I work in a third-party call center as a sales rep for a major cell phone provider. I am a female in my mid-twenties and I grew up in the…[...]
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You Can Never Be Too Careful
(I take regular walks around my neighborhood for exercise and relaxation. I’ve just walked past the entryway for a business that crosses the sidewalk when a car that was heading…[...]
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Seriously, Who Does This?
There’s a guy at my gym who sometimes tries to chat me up. I’m polite but nothing more, as I’m not interested.One night, I’m leaving the gym just as he’s…[...]
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Excuse Us Whilst We Fling Our Phones Into A River
I used to work in a car stereo shop. We had a reputation for electrical work; mechanics in the area would often refer tricky stuff to us because we were…[...]
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Another Reason To Hate Stairs
My local subway station is elevated, meaning that you walk up about two flights of stairs to get to the platform. I leave for work rather early and head away…[...]
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No, No… She’s Got A Point
(My boyfriend and I are sitting on the couch while he’s playing video games. I have just finished a can of Coke.)Me: “Man, I love Coke.”Boyfriend: “We have to talk…[...]
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Those Hot Dogs Are Flavortown, Though
I was going on an Amtrak overnight trip to see my daughter and grandbabies. The train usually leaves the local station around 6:35 pm, so my husband said he’d take…[...]
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Decoding Your Partner
(My partner is doing something involving computer code.)Me: “What ‘cha doing?”Partner: “Just a course on image analysis.”Me: “What language is it in?”Partner: *looks at me like I’m stupid* “English.”Me: *laughing*…[...]
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Mind-Bottling, Isn’t It?
(My husband and I are scrolling Netflix trying to find a movie to watch. He finally finds what he’s looking for. I like thrillers and hate most adult comedies. I’m…[...]
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Here’s A Tip: DON’T
(I work at a coffee shop. There is one customer who, for the past two weeks, has been coming into the shop, ordering a coffee, putting a twenty in the…[...]
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I Messed Up. Sue-shi Me.
(For my birthday, my gift request from my boyfriend is just a thoughtful, quality-time date. He doesn’t disappoint. We have a lovely time watching a movie together and then painting…[...]
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Danced Right Away From His Problems
(I am married to a fellow Marine, a man with two left feet and no sense of rhythm. He hates to dance; probably inevitably, I am a dancin’ fool. We…[...]
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Sometimes It’s Not About Content; It’s About Aesthetic
(I’m going through a breakup-song phase. It has nothing to do with my feelings for my boyfriend; I just really like the songs. My boyfriend, apparently, does not approve. He…[...]
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Even Ugly People Shower Naked
I have just given birth to my first child and I still have a lot of baby weight left. As such, I’m feeling rather self-conscious about how I look, and…[...]
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He Sounds Like A Real Catch
My 23-year-old brother-in-law is a six in looks and a two in personality. He is the youngest out of four siblings, so on top of having the spoiled baby syndrome,…[...]
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Time To Get Rid Of A Major Anxiety Source
I was on anti-anxiety meds but stopped because I felt better and my doctor agreed I could take a break. I start feeling like I should go back on them,…[...]
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Listening And Communication Are Also Options
I’m a 12-year-old boy. I’m sitting at the dinner table with my dad and my stepmom, who are having a conversation about some details of their relationship. When they successfully…[...]
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Checking Out And Checking Each Other Out
After divorcing her first husband, my aunt starts dating a man 22 years older than her; she is in her thirties. They are at a store, and she enters the…[...]
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Good Buddies With Dill Nye
My husband and I are laying in bed, awake and on our phones, but too lazy to get up.Husband: “Oh, I had a weird dream last night.”Me: “Oh?”Husband: “Yeah, we…[...]
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The Ups And Downs Of Marriage
My husband and I decide to drive to France for our honeymoon. After hanging out on the beach for a few hours, we come back to find that our car…[...]
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You Could Always Try
The recent quarantine has been hitting my wife especially hard, in part because it’s prevented her from using her prime coping and therapy mechanism: petting dogs.At home one day, my…[...]
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Are You Cereal?!
My mom, my girlfriend, and I are heading out on a camping trip, and we stop by the store on the way. We need some last-minute food, mainly cereal for…[...]
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You’re The Cat’s Pajamas, Honey!
A few months ago, my wife and I adopted a pair of cats that we both absolutely adore. My wife and I are in our home office doing our own…[...]
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Now Less A Girlfriend AND A Good Friend
The guy I’m dating likes to surprise me by visiting me at work. I decide to return the favor. I walk into the store where he works and see him…[...]
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His Powers Of Deduction Don’t Suck
I’m on my way out the door when my husband comes upstairs from his home office. I let him know I’m heading to the store to buy “something for the…[...]
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Having A Girlfriend Should Be All The Boost You Need
I go on a date with my boyfriend to the movies. When he comes to pick me up… there is another girl in the car. When he tells me her…[...]
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Some People Just Aren’t Compatible
I am thirty and I just decided to start going to college. Everyone else is between seventeen and nineteen. I come into class, go to my table, and start taking…[...]
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Oh, Jeez, I’m Like A Crackpot Magnet!
Apparently, I have been engaged twice and didn’t even know it. One incident involves an ex-boyfriend. A coworker and I are play-arguing and my ex comes up, wraps an arm…[...]
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He’s Going To Have To Makeup For That
During the recent health crisis, here in Germany, social distancing rules are in force. It is not a total curfew, as things like going for walks are not only allowed…[...]
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The Eight-Year B****
I have a birth control implant put in three months before I get married. The side effect it has on me is that my period stops entirely. Fast forward eight…[...]
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Pepper A Little Sarcasm Into Your Meal
My father can be a bit aloof and is not always the best at anticipating other people’s wants or needs, and this story is one of many small examples. My…[...]
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Stay-At-Home Slacker
During the recent health crisis, my husband is minding and homeschooling the kids while I work from home upstairs. I was a stay-at-home mom when the kids were very young…[...]
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This Husband Sure Is A Potty Mouth
My husband is washing dishes and I feel compelled to come up behind him and give him a hug. What can I say? Men doing dishes just do it for…[...]
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‘Til Death Or Pyramid Scheme Do Us Part
I got married to my first husband very young, and after only a few months, we discovered that getting married was a huge mistake. We had a very amicable divorce…[...]
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Mayday! Our Calendar Is All Wrong!
My husband looks over at me and says, “It’s May 1st. Does that mean it’s April Fools Day?”I can’t quite believe he said that, but I reply with, “Well, maybe…[...]
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This Guy Is One Weird Noodle
I am a female in my early twenties, on my own, doing some grocery shopping on a cold January morning. As I am waiting for checkout, I see a middle-aged…[...]
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So Not Engaging In This Nonsense
I’m a woman doing my weekly grocery shop, wearing a T-shirt with a character from a popular webcomic. A man steps in front of me — ignoring the social distancing…[...]
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A Shortcut To Your Man’s Heart
Like a lot of people who grew up in rural areas, I get really, really excited about morel mushrooms. My boyfriend has never tried morels before; he likes mushrooms but…[...]
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Sometimes The Trash Takes Itself Out
I have a crush on a former coworker and just found out it was mutual. While we aren’t specifically told not to date in the workplace, you do have to…[...]
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We Can’t Come Up With A Better Joke Than He Did
I don’t know how it is for most women, but my monthly cycle gives me noticeable changes in my hormones almost every week, so it’s pretty easy to tell where…[...]
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I Hear Those Things Are Awfully Loud…
My husband and I are visiting Seattle. We approach the Seattle Monorail and my husband, who is a massive fan of The Simpsons, gets this big goofy grin on his…[...]
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You Can Take The Girl Out Of Canada…
My cousin learned to speak French at an early age and developed a great interest in French culture. In her mid-twenties, she moved to France, fell in love with a…[...]
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We’re Probably All Going To Come Out Of This With Gray Hair
Our country has been on lockdown since late March. It’s now mid-May, and we’ve only just had some of the severe — and incredibly necessary — restrictions lifted, meaning my…[...]
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You Gotta Know How To Push Your Partner’s Buttons
My boyfriend grew up and lives in Australia half the year and Canada the rest. During the health crisis, he is working a temperature checkpoint at his work, which means…[...]
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You Gotta Know How To Push Your Partner’s Buttons
My boyfriend grew up and lives in Australia half the year and Canada the rest. During the health crisis, he is working a temperature checkpoint at his work, which means…[...]
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Soothing The Skittish Cat
My wife and I were long-distance while dating, and between my last visit and when I moved in, she adopted a cat. The cat was so skittish she hid from…[...]
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We Can Sympathize With The Need To Escape Reality, But…
Some years ago, I met a guy. He was kind of cute and we got along well, and we started dating; you know how it goes. He was into Buddhism…[...]
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Not Likely To De-Ice This Relationship
This began around the end of last year. We were de-icing the stairs at work before the ice storm our weather people told us about. My coworker decided he was…[...]
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Time To Make A Reservation For The Living Room Couch
A friend is having a cookout with several people I know and several I don’t know. I am inside with a few other people when a man comes in and…[...]
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Robbing His Own Cradle
I work in an OBGYN office, often answering phones and directing patients’ messages to doctors. To make sure the right patient’s chart is attached to the message, I ask for…[...]
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Time To Transition Out Of This Conversation
It’s been ten years since this incident and I’m still amused and confused by this situation.My friends have invited me to drag night to see their friend sing and dance…[...]
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In The Doghouse Before You Even Get Together
This happens when I am in high school. There is this guy flirting with me. He makes his intention clear, but honestly, I am just trying to get to know…[...]
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Leave It To Ben & Jerry To Make Things Awkward, Part 2
I’m in bed with my girlfriend, reading Not Always Right, and I learn about an ice cream flavor I’ve never heard of before.Me: “So, apparently, there’s a Ben & Jerry’s…[...]
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The Failed Sequel To “Snakes On A Plane”
I’ve been having very vivid dreams lately. One night, I bolt upright in bed, waking up my partner. I scramble for my phone.Partner: “What’s wrong?”Me: “I have to check my…[...]
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Old Flames Going Up In Smoke
Just after my husband and I were married, we lived with his parents while searching for a place of our own. Their house was old and had a few problems.Our…[...]
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Being Drug Along Isn’t So Bad, Right?
My boyfriend has led a much more exciting life than I have. He recently started talking about us going camping, which I’ve never done. We’re planning an upcoming camping trip…[...]
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But The Internet Is Forever
My wife and I have been together for nine years, living together for seven years, and married for almost four years. For the first two years of our relationship, we…[...]
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Leave It To Ben & Jerry To Make Things Awkward, Part 3
I’m at home. A friend is staying with me due to quarantine. While she is on Facebook, she tells me there is a new Ben and Jerry’s flavor called “Netflix…[...]
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Clearly Your Husband’s Not A Scorpio
I thoroughly enjoy a cartoon my husband doesn’t, and I’ve gotten him to watch a few episodes with me. I’ve just told him about a piece of fan-made merch I’ve…[...]
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Not Throwing Away Her Shot (For Some Candy)
My mom has been putting off some shots of medication she needs due to the current health crisis because they can affect her immune system, but she finally decides to…[...]
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Come For The Girls, Stay For The Beer
Back when I was using an online dating service, I made plans to meet up with a girl at a bar. I got there a few minutes early and decided…[...]
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Why Is “NO” Never Good Enough?
I am the only girl working in a comic book shop, so I get a lot of attention from the male customers that come in. Some of them are not…[...]
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Enough To Put You Off Dating Entirely
I’m a woman. After feeling sorry for myself, seeing all of my friends getting married and having kids, I decide to try online dating. I start talking to a seemingly…[...]
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Best To Just Let It Happen
My wife and I are watching a video about entitled people. The story we are watching is about how someone scammed his great aunt with dementia into signing over her…[...]
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Learn It And Learn It Well
My partner and I had a quick registry office wedding last week as our real wedding has been rescheduled to next year. We are now in the process for adjusting…[...]
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You’re Gonna Want Popcorn For This One, Folks
I am a wedding photographer. Usually, my wife comes along and assists me, but for this wedding, she says she has plans to go home and visit with her parents.…[...]
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Our Chief Weapon Is Surprise!
In the time before the plague, my husband and I used to be avid convention attendees. It was fun, both to dress up and see others in costume, and wherever…[...]
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Puss In Boots… But With A Mouse
My boyfriend and I are helping my parents and a couple of aunts and uncles clean out my grandma’s old house so we can put it on the market. Since…[...]
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Gee, It’s Almost Like Those Laws Exist For Similar Reasons
My husband and I are on our way home from somewhere and stop at our local convenience store for a fountain drink. As per recent city bylaw, we are both…[...]
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Drilling This Lesson Home
I’m the handy one. My partner is not.Me: “Hey! There’s an electric drill on sale!”Partner: “So?”Me: “So, it could be helpful when I need to hang things.”Partner: “It’s not worth…[...]
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That Never Stopped Anyone, Buddy
My husband is from England and I live in the USA, so after we get married, we begin the green card process. After about six months, we receive our interview…[...]
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Two’s Company, The Whole Family Tree’s A Crowd
Shortly after finishing college, a boy I am dating invites me to spend a week in New York City with his family. It falls over our three-year anniversary, so he…[...]
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You Can Cash In These Giggle Bucks Again And Again
My husband is tired as it is late and we’ve been traveling most of the day. I didn’t realize how tired he was until this. We always take some cash…[...]
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Clearly Your Husband’s Not A Catholic
I’m the author of and thought I’d offer another gem my darling husband has come up with. To begin with, my husband is definitely very intelligent. He’s just in that…[...]
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What, And We Cannot Stress This Enough, The F***?!
I work at a well-known grocery store, which is where this happens; an important detail is that I always wear bright red lipstick. Another thing is that, even though I’m…[...]
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Cell Phone Laws Exist Because Of People Like Him
My husband and I have just moved to a new town and we are unfamiliar with the area. He is driving and I’m using my phone for the GPS to…[...]
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No One Will Ever Believe You
My boyfriend and I are chatting online about how people have a hard time telling some people apart. Being Korean, I admit to having had trouble telling some Hollywood actors…[...]
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What Part Of “Leave Me Alone” Did You Not Understand?
I am at a coffee shop one afternoon when a man sits down with me. I look up from my book just long enough to see that there are plenty…[...]
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Crossing The Cultural Divide… Kind Of
One of my best friends lives in Germany and is in university. She’s describing a relationship between a classmate of hers and a foreign student from the USA.Friend: “He doesn’t…[...]
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‘Til Death Do Us Part, Unless I Have Cell Service
I’m on an overnight trip with minimal phone usage allowed. I’m desperately missing my girlfriend, so I find somewhere quiet and give her a call, even though it’s nighttime and…[...]
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Quarantine Must Really Be Getting To Her
I’m in the living room on my computer and my wife is asleep in the bedroom. She talks in her sleep a lot.I hear her mumbling.Me: “Honey?”Wife: “How long?”Me: “How…[...]
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He Probably Thinks Women Don’t Fart, Too
I’ve been seeing this guy for about a few weeks when he comes over to my place. We’re sitting on the couch watching a movie, when…Guy: “Hey, you smell different…[...]
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Maybe You And Your Friend Should Work Out A Signal
A friend and I go out to a bar one night. We have some drinks and play some pool, and there are a few guys that we sort of try…[...]
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Time To Bite The Bullet
I’m fifteen, and I’m at a family dinner at my grandparents’ place. The conversation rolls around to my relatives’ time in the army. Every male in Singapore has to serve…[...]
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The Sweetest Serial Killer
My girlfriend and I have been dating for several months. She’s been in some bad relationships before and is worried because I’m “too nice.” She keeps wondering if I have…[...]
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Making A Clean Getaway
Two other people and I are a team that clean people’s houses for my maid service job in a very affluent neighborhood. The thing about The Help is that we…[...]
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Let’s Hope It Ends With Dessert, Not Divorce
I am a waitress in a fine-dining restaurant. A couple comes in and are sat by the hostess. I notice that their body language is cool; they are sat close…[...]
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When You Marry A Toddler
When my husband is upset, he doesn’t think logically. I turn the TV off by pressing the power button instead of using the remote, mainly because the remote has been…[...]
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Time To Bite The Bullet, Part 2
As there was another story about recently, I feel that I should submit my own story on it.Through the two years of mandatory military service (NS), most of us have…[...]
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Totally Estúpido! Part 14
I just boarded the airplane with my significant other traveling on vacation. The flight attendant is attempting to explain to an Asian couple that doesn’t speak English that they can’t…[...]
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Just Wait Until You Get To The 420
My husband and I are driving along Highway 520 near Seattle. I grew up in the area and he didn’t, so I’m not sure if he knows that once we…[...]
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As They Say, It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere
I’m in a fast food restaurant when I see a man walking to a table with a paper tray of Mexican food and a beer.Man: “It is after twelve noon.…[...]
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Sometimes Life Gives You Lemons
My wife has two cats, and they are very well taken care of. We often joke that they eat better than us some days and more often, it’s not really…[...]
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Time To Bite The Bullet, Part 3
Anyone up for another Potong Jalan story?After a day of soldiering, my section likes to sit down in bunk and play trading cards. One of my sectionmates likes using a…[...]
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