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And You’re Mean To Boot

(My husband and I are getting ready for the day when following conversation happens.)Me: “I told someone on the internet that they are wrong. Someone attacked my personality and I…[...]

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Not Really Feline This Relationship

Partner: *from the next room* “You know I love you!”Me: *touched at this sweet, out-of-the-blue comment* “Thanks, Sweetie. I love you, too.”Partner: *pauses* “I was talking to the cat.”[...]

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Sympathy Is Number One

(Flu season is really bad this year, and despite vaccination, I catch a nasty case. I’m really bad at being sick, and my husband and I argue about how much…[...]

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Stupid Minds Think Alike

(It is our day off and my boyfriend and I each make something simple to eat for lunch. I mix salsa and sour cream together just to eat with some…[...]

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Finally Made Her Crack

(My boyfriend has always had a problem with me cracking my knuckles. He’s tried everything to get me to stop. On one occasion, I am about to crack my knuckles…[...]

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Really Hates Green

(My husband and I have had some really stressful months this year and we are really at the end of our mental and emotional resources. We recently had a big…[...]

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A TV-Perfect Wedding

(There’s a TV series I’m a big fan of that features two brothers. The brothers are very different and don’t get along, and fans of this show tend to side…[...]

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A Clumsy Attempt At Dating

(My boyfriend and I have only been dating about a month, and I’ve warned him that I am horribly clumsy and he’ll probably spend a lot of time in emergency…[...]

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Got That Whey Wrong

(I am living with my mom, who is renting space from another woman who lives with her son. There has been some fooling around between her son and me periodically,…[...]

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Make Your Blood Run Cold

(My boyfriend has a German Shepherd who, while playing at the dog park, cut his paw on something. We are looking at the injury on our bed, trying to keep…[...]

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Not Your Happy Place

Me: “You know that ‘Happy’ song that you really hate?”Husband: “Uh-huh.”Me: “I heard it playing somewhere when I was out running errands today. You know that part where it goes…[...]

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I’m Totally Coconuts About You

(During the early days of my courtship with my husband, we have many long conversations. We often ask each other things about ourselves. During one such talk, I tell him…[...]

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Have Reached Your Mac Potential

(My wife likes to make mac and cheese from scratch, but I usually make it from a box.)Wife: “Do we have any cheese?”Me: “I think so.”Wife: “If we do, I’ll…[...]

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Deadly Pillow Talk

(It’s our wedding anniversary and my husband’s cousin is congratulating us.)Cousin: *to me* “I don’t know how you’ve put up with him so long. What’s the trick?”Me: “He keeps struggling…[...]

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Pure Precious Jealousy

(I met my husband when we both worked for a grocery store. We’ve only been dating a few months at this point, and I like to pick on him about…[...]

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My Boyfriend The Arsonist

(I’m on the phone with my boyfriend.)Me: “Hey.”Boyfriend: “Hey. How are you?”Me: “I’m good. How’re you?”Boyfriend: “I’m— OH, S***! HANG ON A SECOND!”Me: “What? Okay?”Boyfriend: *after a moment* “Okay, I’m…[...]

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Let’s Vaguely Saunter Into The Sunset

(My boyfriend and I are cuddled up watching TV and playfully talking about eloping. I am notoriously lazy.)Me: “Let’s run away together!”Boyfriend: “You realise the word ‘run’ is in there,…[...]

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Messy In More Ways Than One

(I have a sore throat and just started my period. My boyfriend is off to the store to get me some supplies. I ask him to bring some honey for…[...]

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It’s Not Going Swimmingly

(My husband and I have just started to try to conceive, instead of just leaving it to luck or chance. After an intimate night, he asks me to position myself…[...]

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Boo And Boo-Two, Too

(I’ve fallen into the bad habit of calling both my boyfriend and my cat ‘Boo,’ which leads to confusion such as this.)Me: *to the cat* “Hey, boo!”Boyfriend: “Are you talking…[...]

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Fuzzy On The Definition

(My husband and I are relaxing on a couch, individually looking at our phones. I’m absentmindedly running my hand over my scalp; I’ve recently gotten my hair trimmed almost buzz-cut…[...]

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We Don’t Sell Dating Simulators

(I work at a video game store. As a female employee, I’m unfortunately used to being hit on by customers while working. I approach a pair of customers on the…[...]

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Zombie Weddings: It’s The Next Big Thing

(My hubby and I are watching a family on on [Video Website]. They’re vlogging at their sister’s wedding. The vlogger is dancing with his sister during the father-daughter dance.)Husband: “Why…[...]

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When A Ferret Becomes A Weasel

(My boyfriend and I are watching the fourth instalment of the Harry Potter series. It’s my boyfriend’s first time watching it. In this movie, a teacher transforms a student into…[...]

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Behaving Fairly Fairy

Some friends and I are at a party over Halloween weekend. One of them is dressed as the Good Fairy and carries a wand which is handmade of pretty thick…[...]

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Not Single(Mother) Minded

(A female coworker starts a conversation with me, a male, about relationships. It’s very friendly and casual. We’re about the same age. I’m single, never married. She’s been going through…[...]

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Thrifty With Love

(My older sister and I have finished shopping at a thrift store and are waiting in line to check out. There are lots of families in the store, and soon…[...]

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A Jedi Shall Not Know Love…

(I am a huge Star Wars fan, and after years and years I am finally buying the complete series, Episodes I – VI, on Blu-ray. I am 25 and have…[...]

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Hat’s Off For The Attempt

Years ago, my husband’s uncle was shopping for lingerie for his wife. Unfortunately, he really did not know anything about bra sizes, let alone what size his wife wore.When the…[...]

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Ex-Box, Part 4

(It’s my birthday. I am surprised to open a present from my girlfriend: a brand new Xbox. I am even more surprised to see the box open, and every game…[...]

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Childish Chocoholics

(Halloween isn’t an official holiday in Australia, although some children will trick or treat. We always buy chocolate just in case. The day after Halloween:)Husband: *stuffing his face with chocolate*…[...]

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Mining This For All It’s Worth

(I’m teaching my girlfriend to play an old video game where you destroy blocks that slowly move towards you by putting “mines” on the ground and detonating them later. The…[...]

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Your Fiancé Is An Armful

(I’m trying to prepare a simple meal that involves putting frozen food on baking trays, which I line with aluminium foil. My fiancé comes into the kitchen to “help.” He…[...]

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Getting Checked Out At Check Out

(A random guy walks up to my register and winks before I’ve even said anything.)Me: “Good afternoon, sir. Is this all today?”Customer: “Are you for sale?” *winks*Me: “No.” *starts ringing…[...]

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Laughable Legality

(My partner is watching TV and starts laughing. They keep laughing for a good few minutes.)Me: “Something funny?”(They keep laughing, and then they fall off the couch. I wait for…[...]

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This Is Not A Normal Relationship

(My classmate has a new boyfriend whom she already adores. For the purposes of this story, I feel that it’s important to mention that she is a white girl, and…[...]

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Plan Ruined By A Single Response

(I am a teller at a bank. An elderly man comes up to my window.)Elderly Man: “Hello, there.”Me: “Hi, what can I do for you?”Elderly Man: “Are you married?”(Older customers…[...]

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For The Love Of Pod!

Me: “You folded and put away my laundry? Who are you and what have you done with my real girlfriend!?”Girlfriend: *starts to cough because she has the flu on top…[...]

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Manage For Years To Come

My husband works in a different town and only comes home on the weekends. He’s been doing that for over ten years now, and I am completely in charge of…[...]

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Best Not Get That Gift-Wrapped

(I’m currently seven months pregnant. My due date is estimated to be the same month as my birthday. I’m on Facebook and see some fun things my friend did for…[...]

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.. / -.- -. — .–

(My boyfriend and I are curled up on the couch drinking and watching a movie. He burps a lot when he’s drunk.)Me: “I love you!”(All of a sudden, my boyfriend…[...]

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Photo-Perfect Finish

(My boyfriend has recently won a fairly prestigious contest for a short story he wrote. As a result, the organization running the contest needs a picture of him for publicity…[...]

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Daddy Isn’t Welcome Here

(I’m taking orders at the front end of the food stand, while the owner works the grill next to me, and my coworker — a burly middle-aged man — does…[...]

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Farming Out The Same Old Story

(My wife has had her car for nine years and is very sentimentally attached to it, but it has to go, as its transmission has just failed, and it is…[...]

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We Are NOT Doing It Doggy Style

(Whenever my boyfriend and I decide to get intimate, we usually make sure that our dog is out of the room. My boyfriend wakes me up and we start getting…[...]

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This Relationship Has Gone To The Dogs

(I am spending Christmas Eve with my boyfriend’s family and we are poking fun at each other when we have this little exchange:)Boyfriend: *cuddling his dog* Me: *teasing* “I remember…[...]

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Christmas In The Amazon

(Christmas has already blown through my house. My family has already unwrapped their presents, and my siblings and their children have gone home. My fiancé and I are cuddling in…[...]

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It’s A Date! Wait…

(I go to college out of state, but come home to Houston every year for holidays and summers. My boyfriend attends college where I do, but lives elsewhere. A male…[...]

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The Age Of Adorable

(I am a female teacher. One of my male students has a six-year-old sister who adores him to the point where she won’t allow him past the school gates without…[...]

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Love Is A Game

(I play a survival game online with a group of friends, among them a married couple.  We’re clearing a cave of giant insects. Our strategy revolves around having people grapple…[...]

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Their Golden Years Are Going Swimmingly

(I’m volunteering at a clinic, currently working in administration. I handle calls and schedule appointments. It has been raining throughout the whole month, so there are puddles outside. An elderly…[...]

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No Pizza Is Worth This Much

(I am a 19-year-old female living with my girlfriend. My girlfriend has anxiety and can’t stand it when a man comes near her. Recently, my girlfriend got sick and was…[...]

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The Court Of Love Deems This Dream Guilty

(My boyfriend’s leg is digging into my thigh while he’s sleeping.)Me: “[Boyfriend], move your leg.” *push*Boyfriend: *mumbles while moving* “[Mumbles something] …your girlfriend.”Me: “What?”Boyfriend: *rolls over* “Anything you say will…[...]

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That Decision Will Have A Lot Of Fallout

(My husband is playing “Fallout 4.” He has been agonizing for months over which faction to pick, watching videos and reading reviews, paranoid that he will choose poorly. Finally, he…[...]

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Crazy Hungry Love

(My boyfriend and I are discussing a Facebook post wherein a guy referred to his girlfriend as “Butterscotch.”)Boyfriend: “I promise never to call you ‘Thingamajig.’ Or ‘Butterfinger.’ Or ‘Lollipop.’ Because…[...]

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Dad Jokes Have No Temperature

(I have been sick and haven’t been able to get much sleep. After another night of tossing and turning, I’m feeling delirious.)Me: “I need to take my temperature again.”Husband: “I…[...]

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Lettuce Not

(I am the cashier at a supermarket. Someone unusual has decided to shop here today.)Me: “Hello, ma’am, how are you today?”Customer: “LETTUCE!”Me “Uhh… lettuce?”Customer: “GRAPES!”Me: “Do you want lettuce and…[...]

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Italian Stereotypes Needs A Dressing

(We decide to go try a new Italian restaurant for dinner. We walk in and it’s the most stereotypical “Italian restaurant” decor I’ve ever actually seen in real life. There…[...]

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The Case Of The Two-Dollar Punch

(My partner and I are getting out of bed to start the day. I’ve been a sleep-walker/talker since childhood, though it’s rarer now that I’m older.)Partner: “Do you remember waking…[...]

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Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 71

(I asked my wife the question. I was raised in the South and went hunting a lot.)Me: “What would you do if I was bitten by a zombie?”Wife: “Logically, I’d…[...]

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The Merry Adventures Of Mr. Plow

(I, a twenty-three year old woman, work third shift at a gas station, alone. It is the first major snowfall of the season and everybody who owns a plow is…[...]

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Keeping Him Rice And Happy

(This is a story from my grandmother. When she marries my grandfather, in the late 1940s, she asks him about all the foods he likes so she can make them…[...]

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Crochet Away

(I come up to the checkout with a few bundles of yarn and a crochet needle.)Cashier: “Ooh, you crochet?”Me: “Not really. My mum made a lot of my clothes as…[...]

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Death Becomes Her, Part 5

(I am checking out a married couple at my till. It is just about sunset.)Me: “Hi, how are you today?”Husband: “Good.” *looks at wife* “She hasn’t killed me yet.”Wife: *chuckling*…[...]

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You’re All Just Numbers To Them

(I am talking to a guy on [Dating App]. After a good while of talking:)Guy: “Wow! We have so much in common. You are the perfect woman. Smart, beautiful… May…[...]

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Should Be Your Blanket Response To Most Decisions

(In the morning:)Girlfriend: “I was cold last night.”Me: “Why?”Girlfriend: “Because you took all the blankets.”Me: “So, why didn’t you take them back?”Girlfriend: “Because I would have woken you up.”Me: *after…[...]

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What A Sheety Thing To Do

(I’m sitting on my bed when my dad sits next to me.)Dad: “When your mother gave birth to you, do you want to know the first thing she said to…[...]

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A Dollar For A Priceless Moment

(This is a memory of my husband, as he has since passed in July. I remember how whenever we went together into a store, we always came out with over…[...]

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Daddy Issues: The Holiday Special

(It’s Christmas Day, and my husband and I have just had his parents over for the morning. My husband’s father has already made several racist remarks — something he is…[...]

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A Lack Of Blood To The Brain

(I volunteer at the Red Cross reception desk one morning each week. The job’s not very difficult; mostly I just answer the phone and direct prospective donors to the blood…[...]

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A Lighter Side To This Story

(My fiancé has bought my Christmas present, and can’t resist giving me a hint.)Fiancé: “You’ll take it everywhere, and everyone will want to use it.”Me: *joking* “Is it a handkerchief?”Fiancé:…[...]

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