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When Tea Can Be Extra Hot

(My husband’s name starts with T. There is a saying, “She just wants the D,” meaning a woman is interested in certain male attention. We are lying in bed and…[...]

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It Was A Clean Attack

(My boyfriend and I have been playing separate computer games while on a voice call with each other. We have been silent for a while, but then I hear snoring.)Me:…[...]

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How To Be His B****

(My boyfriend likes to try and be cute by making a certain sound when he sees me. Unfortunately, knowing what the only other circumstance he uses that sound under is…[...]

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This Is Not A Good Look For Her

(My girlfriend and I head downtown, where she has repeatedly told me she is going to get me a “surprise.” We stop at a restaurant across from a shopping mall.…[...]

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When In Love, There Is No “Maybe”

(My 16-year-old sister and her boyfriend are sitting together before church. A young girl who is in the Sunday school class my sister teaches walks up to them. My sister…[...]

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A Pun In The Oven

(This was before I was born. Dad has just come home with shopping bags.)Mom: “Honey, can you check the oven while I put the groceries away?”Dad: “Sure.” *checks* “There’s just…[...]

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Food Beats Money

(I’m six months pregnant, and I’ve just woken up, as my boyfriend is getting ready to leave for work. He sees me sitting up, looking a little grouchy, and he…[...]

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Read My Mood

(My boyfriend and I are wandering around a bookstore while I try to find a new summer reading book. Note: I have a lisp that I can usually hide, but…[...]

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Dirty Money

(I’m saying goodnight to my wife as I have to be up early for work. We are standing there hugging and I go for a cheeky feel of her backside.…[...]

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Monthly Roundup: June 2026

It’s time for the June roundup! Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in June deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of…[...]

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Independence Day Roundup

Happy Birthday to the United States of America!  Today we celebrate… with barbeques and picnics and parties and, of course, lots and lots of fireworks.Here are some of our favorite…[...]

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This Wedding Is As Right As Rain

When I first started event-planning, a friend of mine hired me as a gift to her cousin to boost my business. Since the wedding was going to be a total…[...]

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A Little Light Death

(My boyfriend and I are getting ready for bed when I notice that the living room light is still on. I am tired and comfortable and have a gently purring…[...]

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The Gift That Never Starts Giving

My ex-boyfriend had a habit of not buying me birthday gifts. Usually his excuse was something like, “I couldn’t figure out anything,” or, “I’ll get you something later.” The latter…[...]

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A Vexing Definition

(My boyfriend and I are sitting at home eating our personal pints of ice cream. I’m about to take the last bite before putting it away for the night, so…[...]

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This Train Will Pull In 28 Days Later

(While watching “Train to Busan,” a Korean zombie flick set on the titular train:)Me: “Apparently, they’re making a Hollywood remake of Train to Busan.”Husband: “How the h*** are they going…[...]

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Burping Gets You Some Hangups

(Due to being a small business owner, I get all types of spam calls, but due to the clientele and our cloud-based services, I can’t afford to not answer the…[...]

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Married To Hermione Granger

(My boyfriend is folding laundry.)Boyfriend: “You know how I know you’re not some kind of mythical creature? You can’t fold a fitted sheet, either.”Me: “Yes, I can. They taught me…[...]

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What A Dumpy Way To Do That

(One of my long-term friends has a pretty unconventional way of doing things, and this unusual streak runs through every aspect of his life. He tells me this story about…[...]

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I’m P(r)etty Pregnant

There was a guy I met via a dating app, with whom I went on several dates. It got very serious, very quickly, and he started talking about me potentially…[...]

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Fall Of Bridezilla

(I end up being the wedding planner of a Bridezilla. The bride’s sister — and bridesmaid — gets pregnant. The Bridezilla informs her that her pregnancy is inconvenient, and throws…[...]

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At Least Try To Have Fun With It

(I have just had an easy break-up with my boyfriend. We remain friends afterwards and have no hard feelings. While attending a party together, I see an old friend, and…[...]

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How To Get Daddy Issues

(I have been trying my luck on a dating site, with not much to show for it so far. I am near the end of date number two with this…[...]

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Superman And The Books Of Evil

I usually have very vivid dreams — so vivid that sometimes I wake up confused as to why I’m not where I was in the dream. Tonight, I dreamed that…[...]

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The Same Old Story

(My wife has just returned from a conference she went to alone. As I’m picking her up from the airport, she tells me of a male friend she made there,…[...]

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To Have And To Like You

(I’m sitting in the kitchen with my parents. My dad just recently made a Facebook account.)Dad: “Will you marry me?”Mom: “What?”Dad: “On Facebook! Will you marry me?”Mom: “Twenty-five years of…[...]

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Guys So Hot That You Just Got Burned

(My brother and his girlfriend are watching TV in the other room when a commercial for “The Bachelorette” comes on.)Girlfriend: “Ooh!”Brother: “You watch that? Why?”Girlfriend: *sarcastically* “Uh, all the hot…[...]

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So I Married A T-Rex…

(I am reading a book at home.)Book: “…up to 60 percent of specimens [of tyrannosaurs] display evidence of face biting in battle, hinting at how the [deadly] infection may have…[...]

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Cemented Thy Grisly Fate

(My husband has been working all evening taking out a fence. When it gets dark, he has me come shine a flashlight so he can work on the last post.…[...]

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An Ex-planation

(My wife is pregnant, and at about ten pm on a very rainy day she decides she really wants some ice cream, but we’re out at the moment. So, I…[...]

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Didn’t Think Outside That Box

(My husband recently ordered a TV stand and a bookshelf online, among other smaller items. The TV stand is delivered pretty quickly, and my husband assembles it the next day.…[...]

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The “Friend Zone” Contains No True Friends

(A long-time friend of mine expresses his more-than-friendly ideas about us. The following conversation ensues:)Me: “You know I’m married, and I don’t think of you like that.”Friend: “Why?”Me: “I’m married…[...]

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Deaf Becomes Her

I heard this story from a bookstore clerk. He told me he had been working in the bookstore for a couple weeks when, on a Saturday morning, this couple came…[...]

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Love-Sick As A Parrot

I come to Canada with my grandmother so she can meet my boyfriend. She and I are going to meet him for lunch, and we have a bit of time…[...]

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Throw In A Lil’ Humor

(My girlfriend and I are riding in the car when a mid-2000s era rap song comes on the radio, sung by a pair of famous rappers from the time.)Girlfriend: “I…[...]

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A Date To Remember

(My mum and I are walking up to a market stall to buy coffees. There is an older man working at the counter. He turns to face my mum and…[...]

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Aging Of Innocence

(I’m cashiering in the early morning. An older man comes through my line and as usual I try to be friendly, polite, and provide the best service I can.)Customer: *after…[...]

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I’m Totally Nuts About You

(After getting my boyfriend a new phone case, his audio is very quiet.)Boyfriend: *unintelligible*Me: “What?”Boyfriend: *more unintelligible stuff*Me: “What did you say?”Boyfriend: *louder* “Your name. I said your name.”Me: “Oh.”Boyfriend:…[...]

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Eye Should Stop Talking

(My boyfriend is bad at giving compliments, and I’m bad at taking them. We’re both working on it. My boyfriend has blue-brown eyes that change colour depending on the lighting.…[...]

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Two Heads Are Better Than One

(I love my husband to pieces, but when he’s sleep-deprived, the absolute dumbest crap comes out of his mouth. Example: After working multiple night shifts as a police officer on…[...]

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A Slice Of Married Life

(I work in a bakery in a grocery store. We have full loaves of bread that the customer can cut themselves or take home. One night, I notice a woman…[...]

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She Cookie-Cutter Him Down

(I’m at the store pharmacy in a retirement community waiting for my prescription. There is a row of chairs, and I watch an elderly couple come over. The man sits…[...]

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Sock It To Me For My Birthday

(My husband is not one to care about buying clothes, so that usually falls to me. He also has a birthday coming up.)Me: “I noticed [Online Store] is having a…[...]

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She’s Not Giving You A New Hope

I’m an asexual woman, but back when I was in college, “asexual” wasn’t really “a thing.” I just ended up telling all my friends, “I don’t date,” as a personal…[...]

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Giving Him An Earful

(My boyfriend and I are lying in bed watching TV. We are spooning, with me as the big spoon. He is really talented at watching TV and forgetting the world…[...]

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The Bells Of Destiny

(My cousin is Chinese-American and a single child, and has recently announced his engagement to a divorced white American with three girls. She kept her ex’s name to match her…[...]

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Nintendos Before Hoes

(My friend is over for a night of video games and “bro time” when his girlfriend tries to video chat with him. Because he is playing the game, he doesn’t…[...]

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It’s A Crazy Dating World Out There

(I am talking with my cousin about her upcoming tenth anniversary.)Me: “It’s so great that you’ve managed to last so long in a happy marriage.”Cousin: “Well, it’s God’s blessing.” *pauses*…[...]

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How Overgrown Is That Carpet?

(My husband and I have been having trouble with a particular appliance lately. I told my husband that I would ask my mother what brand she uses so we can…[...]

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Shaving Off Some Sun

(My husband finishes taking his shower and comes to sit next to me on the sofa.)Me: *snuggling* “You smell so good!”Husband: “Yeah, I ran out of shaving cream halfway through…[...]

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Playing A Game Of Political Chairs

(Australia’s frequent changing of Prime Ministers has become a running joke both there and in New Zealand, and they’ve just got a new one again. I’m getting ready for bed…[...]

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The Key To A Failed Relationship

(I’m standing in the front of our store, cleaning tables and cabinetry, when I hear some shouting. Across the parking lot, in front of the local corner store, a young…[...]

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The Church Is Hangry

My boyfriend and I are a multilingual couple. My first language is English, his first language is French, and the first language that we started talking to each other in…[...]

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A Storybook Romance

(I’ve dated guys, not a lot, but enough to make me wary of being geeky or showing how much I like to read. When I say I like to read,…[...]

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She Is Your True Call Of Duty

(My fiancé, while loving and caring, is not big on verbal declarations of love and affection. He is playing an FPS game and just lost a timed mission with a…[...]

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You’re Being Pun-ished

(Every weekday, my partner and I drive home from work together. I tend to get out and check the mail, as our mailbox isn’t that waterproof. This occurs on a…[...]

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Hard To Love A Morning Person

(I am chatting with my girlfriend while she’s in her psychology class.)Girlfriend: “According to Freud, being in love is loving yourself, projected onto an object.”Me: “Well, in that case, I…[...]

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Marriage Is A Sauce Of New Foods

(My husband was not a very adventurous eater before we met, and his mom was not much on cooking. I discovered this when we were dating and I would cook…[...]

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Not A Top-Heavy Romance

(My husband and I are cuddling in bed, topless. He starts talking to me very tenderly and sweetly.)Husband: “Never leave me.”Me: “I would be the biggest fool in the world…[...]

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Nibbling On The Golden Years

(Every morning I have a regular couple. They always order the same thing, so today I decide to try an upsell.)Me: “Good morning, Mr. H. Is it the usual today?”Mr.…[...]

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Snaking Out Of That Argument

(My husband and I are in a heated argument.)Me: *at a volume of 11* “You are so inconsiderate. Acknowledge my feelings. You’re acting like an a**hole.” Husband: “You know, one…[...]

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Victory Cream!

(My husband gets dozens of zits from dry skin if he doesn’t apply cream to his body after showering. He is lazy to do it and I constantly nag him…[...]

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That’s Some Really Crappy Sex

(My husband walks into our bedroom, naked, and slithers up into bed with me.)Husband: “So, I was just in the bathroom trying to poop, and I thought, ‘What do most…[...]

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Stan Lee… RIP

Many of us here at Not Always Right grew up with the marvelous comic creations of Stan Lee, and we were all sad to hear of his passing. In tribute…[...]

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Got His Seven-Up!

(My husband and I are eating a dinner of steak and garden peas together. Midway through the meal, he throws a couple of peas at me.) Husband: *giggles* “I just…[...]

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