Why Did You Have To Be Such A D**k?
I have been working at my current company for about three years now as a trainer. This company seems to experience higher-than-average turnover due to the stress of the job…[...]
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A Recipe For Disaster, Part 7
(My boyfriend says that his parents will be in town for a brief visit in two weeks and have expressed an interest in meeting me. We decide that a quiet…[...]
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There’s No Sugar-Coating This Wasted Journey
A few years ago my husband I traveled from Ireland to the USA to complete a coast-to-coast road trip. One day we stopped for lunch in a restaurant that sold…[...]
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How To Get Picked Up By Guys: Look Homeless
(I am out late at night, walking to a convenience store. I lead a largely nocturnal schedule so I sometimes have to go to stores at night. I live in…[...]
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Monthly Roundup: November 2026
It’s time for the November roundup! Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in November deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of the…[...]
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Their Driving Is Nothing To Sneeze At
(I have PTSD from being in a severe car accident as a child that resulted in a traumatic brain injury. I am mostly recovered and normal as an adult. I…[...]
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The Cartoon Is On A Never-Ending Lupin
(There’s a cartoon series that I really like, and I’ve finally talked my girlfriend into watching it with me. Note that she’s really into cars, and I’m not. We get…[...]
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Leave This Story Out Of The Family Legend
(My boyfriend is in his last year of undergrad and studying for the GRE. I am a first-year pharmacy student. He has his General GRE exam tomorrow.)Boyfriend: “Quick! Name a…[...]
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Make Her Watch The Antonio Banderas Movie Version, Instead
Me: “[Friend] and I are forming a book club.”Wife: “Who?”Me: “[Friend, who I’ve known since childhood].”Wife: *mumbles something*Me: “What?”Wife: “Sounds like a couple of losers.”Me: “Would a couple of losers…[...]
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They’re Repeatedly Phoning In Their Relationship
(My wife and I are chatting with a friend of ours in the living room. We’re all on the couch, talking about my wife’s recent phone upgrade.)Wife: “When [My Name]…[...]
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“Nice Guys” Usually Aren’t
(There is a girl in my college class who was in a bad car accident when she was in her early teens, which resulted in her being heavily scarred down…[...]
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In Soviet Russia, Joke Is You
(My boyfriend and I are talking to the plumber about results of some water tests for lead, and about installing special filters called “curtains.”)Boyfriend: “So, about how much does a…[...]
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Perfume… Actually
(I am working on the fragrance counter of a large store on Christmas Eve when a man asks for my help selecting presents — women’s perfume. He tells me he…[...]
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Outlininder
(A commercial for Outlander comes on while my husband is watching football. Having enjoyed the story and historical fiction in general, I get distracted and, consequently, stop what I am…[...]
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Holiday Roundup 2026
Long before we started we had lots of stories that put smiles on our faces and cheer in our hearts. We offer you a present of a sampling of those…[...]
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His Jokes Are Unappeeling
(Overheard, walking out after a long movie:)Wife: “As soon as we leave, I need to visit the bank to deposit my check.”Husband: “But before we do that, I need to…[...]
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Checking You Out When You’re Checking Him Out
(It is the holiday season. My shift ends in ten minutes and I just want it to end without incident. My male boss is at the cash register next to…[...]
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Till Snore Do We Part
(Seeing my husband beginning to nap on the couch, I turn off the lights.)Husband: “Ah, thanks for being so sweet to me.”Me: *wanting to tease him* “Nah, that was total…[...]
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This Party Has Gone To The Dogs
(My boyfriend and I both really want a dog, but between our crazy work hours, we just wouldn’t be able to take care of one. We’re at my parents’ house…[...]
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About To Be NewlyDead
(After dating a year and a half, my fiancé and I are planning our wedding, or rather I am. My husband mentions he wants to hire some of his friends…[...]
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Informative About The Current State Of Humanity
(I am on a bus when I overhear these bits and pieces of a conversation between a man and his girlfriend. Apparently the man has bought a children’s ticket —…[...]
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Select Your 2026 Favorite Story!
Dear Readers!Welcome to 2019! We’ll be making a whole bunch of posts highlighting the NotAlwaysRight year in review.We’d like the help of you, our dedicated readers, to pick out the…[...]
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I Used To Be A Weird Husband, But Then I Took An Arrow To The Knee
(My husband is not a gamer, but he really likes watching me use my PlayStation because he enjoys my adventures. It should be noted that in “Dragon Age: Origins,” my…[...]
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Monthly Roundup: December 2026
It’s time for the December roundup! Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in December deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of the…[...]
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An Affair To Dismember
(Things my soon-to-be-ex told me, in reference to his five-plus-year affair, and my sarcastic responses…)Scumbag: “No, I wasn’t planning to divorce you so I could marry her. Of course not!…[...]
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Assisted Living And Leaving
(I work in an assisted living facility. A resident has just come back from an appointment. He’s signing in and we’re talking.)Resident: “My wife didn’t leave, did she?”Me: “No, she’s…[...]
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Just Axing For Trouble
This happens when I am a single 24-year-old. I am walking home through my local park around nine pm — so wickedly late! — when a girl comes up to…[...]
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Love Needs Its Beauty Sleep
(It’s very late at night, and I am sound asleep when my phone rings.)Me: *groggily* “H’lo?”Voice: “[Not My Name]? [Not My Name], it’s Bob.”Me: “Bob?”Voice: “Yes. I need to know…[...]
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The Top Rated Posts Of 2026!
Dear readers,It’s time to reveal the twenty highest-rated stories from 2018! 20 – 19 – 18 – 17 – 16 – 15 – 14 – 13 – 12 – 11 –…[...]
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Appallingly Unaware
(My boyfriend and I are playing a video game where you can get hit with electricity that either shocks or stuns you. We’re playing on two different monitors. He gets…[...]
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You Have Her Cornered
(When my wife and I are still dating, we usually stop by her parents’ place when we finish working on Fridays. On this particular Friday, we are going to have…[...]
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Oh, My Sweet Summer Boyfriend
(My boyfriend has taken a liking to a European candy that randomly showed up in our local grocery store, but once they run out of the first shipment they never…[...]
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They Both Want A Piece Of The Action
(I am a fairly large-chested woman. My husband and I are medieval re-enactors, discussing the type of costumes I’d like him to make for me. We’ve settled on a style…[...]
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It Needs To Be A Nudge Nudge Wink Wink Before It’s Official
(I have glasses, and sometimes when they get dirty I close one of my eyes and look to see if it’s that side of the glasses or the other that’s…[...]
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If You Still Have Underwear By Sunday You’re Not Doing It Right
(My husband has two hearing aids, and I often forget about them in the early morning before he puts them back in after showering, which makes for some interesting conversations.…[...]
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Just Be Present
(My partner has recently suffered a nervous breakdown and their therapist has ordered them to take a day off — absolutely no work, and nothing stressful. My partner is a…[...]
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Love Is True When It Can Mock Itself
(My husband and I are walking through the mall, on our way to buy a birthday present for a friend. My husband and I don’t really have a preference for…[...]
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Your Favorite Stories Of 2026!
Dear readers,We asked you to let us know what your favorite stories from 2018 were, and boy did you deliver! We’ve rounded up many of your great suggestions below. We’ve…[...]
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Technically It’s Bee Vomit, But It’s Still Sweet
(My parents rarely show romantic affection towards one another, particularly out in public. We’re all in the family SUV, and we’ve just gone through the drive-thru at a fast food…[...]
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So Excited They Could Puke
(I am on my second day of severe food poisoning when my girlfriend and I decide we absolutely have to go to the urgent care to get me feeling better,…[...]
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Hot Enough To Burn
This happened in 2003. I am male and had one male boss who was in his sixties and about 1,50 meters — five feet — tall. We were the IT-guys…[...]
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Tooth And Brain Decay
(My husband has just had some dental work done. He wants to brush his teeth, but we use electric toothbrushes, and he thinks those will be too harsh on his…[...]
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Lactose Intolerance Versus Lactose Ignorance, Part 2
Patron #1: “Why do you have two ice cream options?”Me: “One is made with cow’s milk, while the other is made with coconut milk.”Patron #1: “What’s the difference?”Me: “One is…[...]
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The Price Of Flirting
(I’m at a large home and garden store with my mom, buying a wedding gift for a friend. We head up to the cashier, an attractive guy around my own…[...]
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Phlegm Definitely Isn’t Cute
(My partner and I have a little routine. I say, “How did you get so cute?” and he says “Radioactive cute-onium!” This time, though, he has a cold.)Me: “How’d you…[...]
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Husbandly Rights Are Very Wrong
(A coworker just told us that she’s discovered her husband has been having an affair with her best friend and has left her. We are full of pity for her,…[...]
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Taking Stock Of A Romantic Christmas
(My husband has always earned more than I have, and I do feel bad about that sometimes. For Christmas, I usually get him one or two presents that he wants,…[...]
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Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 16
(A friend relayed this story to me. She and her boyfriend have gotten very close over the past three years. This is the conversation she had with him:)Friend’s Boyfriend: *farts*Friend:…[...]
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Karma Can Be Jarring
(I’m over a friend’s house, hanging out with her, her husband, and their mutual friends who are also a husband and wife. The other husband is sort of a “macho”…[...]
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I Am Violently In Love With You
(I am a young woman with multiple health problems, which have left me in a wheelchair currently. On top of that, my left eye is light-sensitive, red, and watery. I’ve…[...]
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Levelling Up Requires Blood
(My sister has MS and can be a little clumsy. One day she is sharpening kitchen knives and misses the sharpener. She ends up slicing her hand severely. She wraps…[...]
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Gangbangers Have To Use The Overflow Parking
(My husband and I took our nine-month-old daughter to the doctor’s for her booster flu shot. We drive into a spot that’s labeled “patron parking,” and my husband observes something…[...]
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Another Word For Throwing Out Is Ex-iled
My ex-husband was picking the kids up for his fortnightly weekend with them when he told me that he and his fiancée had broken up — right before Christmas. The…[...]
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No Means No Means No Means No Means…
(I’m the front desk clerk for one of many hotels around the Atlanta Football Stadium. This happened last year during football season.)Guest’s Friend: “Um, my friend wanted me to ask…[...]
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A Hurricane Of Bad Relationships
(My sister-in-law went through a string of abusive relationships before meeting my brother, but my brother is very good to her. They are on vacation when we get word that…[...]
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Peacocktease
(I am sitting by myself on a bench in the local mall, waiting for my husband who has run to the bathroom. I happen to have long hair with streaks…[...]
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Had That Car For A Barking Lifetime
(My wife and I have three dogs: two older ones that weigh 100 pounds and 80 pounds, and a younger one that is 55 pounds and not likely to get…[...]
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That’s How You Slide Out Of The Tape
(My girlfriend and I like going on road trips. This time, we’re flying to Austin to meet friends, then taking a rental car to San Francisco. Since we came by…[...]
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So Panicked You Peed A Little Bit
When I was young my dad had an IT job that could call him into work at any time, on top of his normal working hours. At least once a…[...]
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Boobs Are Hot
(It’s winter. I’m in the kitchen, baking bread. My boyfriend sits in the living room on the couch. After getting the bread out of the oven, I lift my shirt…[...]
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This Relationship Just Levelled Up
(My boyfriend and I are in a voice call as we’re in a long distance relationship. He’s playing a video game while I’m reading through a few stories online.)Boyfriend: “Is…[...]
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Smells Like Trouble
(As I’m getting to the end of my evening shift, I check out this lady on her phone. It goes fairly well — she’s communicating with me and such —…[...]
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The Thirteenth Lobster
(My mother is reading in bed while my father sleeps, when he abruptly sits up.)Dad: “How many are there?”Mom: “…how many what?”Dad: “Lobsters.”Mom: *realizing he’s asleep and knowing how much…[...]
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It’s Obviously The Girls’ Fault For Having Legs
There was a boy on my school bus who was at least four years older than me. He always gave me the creeps and I hated seeing him in the…[...]
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Monthly Roundup: January 2026
It’s time for the January roundup! Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in January deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of the…[...]
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A Very Direct Message
(A man I don’t know sends me a direct message on Facebook:)Man: “Hey, you. How’s it going?”Me: “I’m all right. Do I know you?”Man: “No, but you could.”Me: “Do we…[...]
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Driving To The Only Reasonable Conclusion
(For about six months after an accident, my husband and I have one car, forcing a lot of coordination between our schedules. For the most part, this is fine because…[...]
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These Dreams Just Don’t Add Up
(My husband is absolutely not a morning person, rarely wakes to his alarms, and often talks quite clearly in his sleep. This conversation occurs when I try to wake him,…[...]
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You’re So Hot
(My husband is getting ready to go to work, which he really doesn’t want to do.)Me: “You have to start the car to let it heat up; it’s cold outside”(He…[...]
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That Kind Of Thinking Got You Pregnant In The First Place
(I’m six months pregnant and don’t have many maternity clothes, so I throw on a dress and tights before going to work.)Husband: “You look really nice today.”Me: “I ran out…[...]
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A Breakdown Evens Out A Breakup
(I am a cashier at a drugstore, trying to get through my last year of university, when I see a girl in the same uni hoodie as mine enter the…[...]
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That’s So Corny(flakes)
(I am getting myself and my baby dressed for the day when my husband runs into the bedroom and throws a cereal box on our bed.)Husband: “There! Now you can…[...]
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Sleepwalking Away From This Relationship
(This takes place four years ago, when I’ve just started dating my boyfriend. I always take a long time to fall asleep, so I’m used to lying in bed next…[...]
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Valentine’s Day 2026
Valentine’s Day. It’s a day of romance and celebration of love. It’s a day of candy and flowers and romantic dinners. It’s a day for sappy endearments and mushy exclamations…[...]
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When She Gives You The Look Of Death
(After a brief bit of, um, intimate groping, I make the following remark to my wife:)Me: “I think that should go on your tombstone someday: ‘more fun in her pants.'”…[...]
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A Spoonful Of Sugar Helps The Diet Go Down
(I am trying to lose a bit of weight before my wedding, but I tend to have somewhat poor impulse control, foodwise. My fiancé knows this, as I have asked…[...]
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Tongs Of Joy
(Earlier in the day I watched a popular de-cluttering television show. Now, I am attempting to cook in my mother-in-law’s kitchen and failing miserably because I can’t find anything.)Me: “Arrrgh!”Husband:…[...]
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American Culture Sure Is A Picture Show
(I am an American living in Mexico in the 90s. I’m ice skating with my girlfriend when “The Time Warp” comes on the PA.)Me: “Oh, this is from The Rocky…[...]
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It’s Women That Drive The Relationship
(My husband and myself are driving along a dirt road when I notice an odd noise.) Me: “There’s an odd noise on my side of the car; it’s like something…[...]
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Time To Sitz Down
(My husband uses a sitz bath. I am in the bathroom and the thing keeps falling over, so I’m grumbling at it. This happens when I come back out to…[...]
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Microchip Micro-Aggressions
(My husband and I have just dropped off our kitten to get spayed and microchipped. It’s important to note that we have other dogs and cats, and my dad is…[...]
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Taking Some Terror-Of-The-Nyquil
(My girlfriend and I are in bed. I’ve been having bad insomnia, so I get some sleeping medicine to try to help. I’ve never taken it before, so I don’t…[...]
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They Cardly Notice Each Other Anymore
(My husband typically works the day shift at his employer. Two weeks ago, the company got a new contract for a job that requires work be done during the night…[...]
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Most People Count Sheep, But Whatever Works For You…
(For the entire week when this happens, I have been reminding my husband to go to the store and pick up milk. We have been married a few months now…[...]
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Try Not To Do That, Deer
(My husband and I make arrangements to buy a used SUV to replace our current one. We’re driving home in the current vehicle, with an appointment to switch vehicles the…[...]
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You’re The Apple Of My Die
(We live in a small town surrounded by a whole lot of forest. One day my husband comes home from the store and I start to put the shopping away.)Me:…[...]
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That’s The Pay To Do It
(My husband and I are in the bedroom. He’s very tired but he’s playing with our eleven-month-old baby on our bed so I can fold and put away the laundry.…[...]
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Can’t Finnish What She Started
(I work with an EMS group and we are taking people’s blood pressure for free. I am taking an older woman’s blood pressure. I am a young, white, blonde, blue-eyed…[...]
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If The Cap Fits…
(My husband and I have recently watched a B-list movie with an actor who repeatedly says, “I’m gonna pop a cap in your a**,” to the point that we have…[...]
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Don’t Lick It Or You’ll Have Bad Breath Of The Wild
(Conversations like this are the normal thing in my household.) Me: “Hmm… So, I am thinking about being dumb.”Husband: “Oh?”Me: “Because Nintendo Switch cartridges are so tiny, Nintendo has them…[...]
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Monthly Roundup: February 2026
It’s time for the February roundup! Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in February deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of…[...]
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What A βλάκας
(In this story, I am sitting downstairs with my husband and our roommate. I am on our roommate’s laptop doing a search for them as they are terrible about finding…[...]
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You’re Only Meant To Have Five A Day
(My wife and I are in adult Sunday School when the teacher is covering Galatians 5:22-23.)Teacher: *reading* “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness,…[...]
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What Kind Of Mutant Platypus Has He Been Seeing?!
(I observe this couple in a gift shop.)Wife: *picks up a realistic stuffed narwhal toy* “Aww, honey, look at this!”Husband: “What is that?! Is that, like, one of them platypuses?”Wife:…[...]
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Save The Date!
(My husband and I are standing in line to get snacks at a movie theater, talking while we wait. I respond to something he says in a way that’s snarky…[...]
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Conditioned Against Conditioner
(My boyfriend has very curly hair and isn’t a fan of haircuts, so his hair has a tendency to puff up into an afro-like style around his head. He hasn’t…[...]
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Won’t Be Ringing Him Up
I worked in a jewelry shop and it was close to Valentine’s Day. A lot of men came in to buy some jewelry for the occasion, and we had some…[...]
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Shirtless Rock Stars Will Have Them In Fits
(I have had epilepsy since I was eight, and therefore can not go to any band concerts due to the flashing and strobe lights. There was a Panic! At The…[...]
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That Poor Boyfriend
(My museum is hosting an event with representatives from several organizations given tables to talk with guests about their services. My male, married coworker is assigned to help one of…[...]
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Have Some Selfie-Respect
(I met this guy on a dating app, and we have been texting for a few days. I have several tattoos and he has asked to see pics — no…[...]
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