The Husband Finally Shows Some Teeth
(I am at a surprise party that one of my friends has thrown for his wife. After the surprise, she goes back inside to change into some more comfortable clothes:…[...]
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Throw In A Lil’ Humor
(My girlfriend and I are riding in the car when a mid-2000s era rap song comes on the radio, sung by a pair of famous rappers from the time.)Girlfriend: “I…[...]
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A Date To Remember
(My mum and I are walking up to a market stall to buy coffees. There is an older man working at the counter. He turns to face my mum and…[...]
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Aging Of Innocence
(I’m cashiering in the early morning. An older man comes through my line and as usual I try to be friendly, polite, and provide the best service I can.)Customer: *after…[...]
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I’m Totally Nuts About You
(After getting my boyfriend a new phone case, his audio is very quiet.)Boyfriend: *unintelligible*Me: “What?”Boyfriend: *more unintelligible stuff*Me: “What did you say?”Boyfriend: *louder* “Your name. I said your name.”Me: “Oh.”Boyfriend:…[...]
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Eye Should Stop Talking
(My boyfriend is bad at giving compliments, and I’m bad at taking them. We’re both working on it. My boyfriend has blue-brown eyes that change colour depending on the lighting.…[...]
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They’re Breeding Like Starbucks
(My husband and I are driving on a road near our house where they are putting up a natural food store right next to a restaurant. It looks like it’s…[...]
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Two Heads Are Better Than One
(I love my husband to pieces, but when he’s sleep-deprived, the absolute dumbest crap comes out of his mouth. Example: After working multiple night shifts as a police officer on…[...]
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A Slice Of Married Life
(I work in a bakery in a grocery store. We have full loaves of bread that the customer can cut themselves or take home. One night, I notice a woman…[...]
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She Cookie-Cutter Him Down
(I’m at the store pharmacy in a retirement community waiting for my prescription. There is a row of chairs, and I watch an elderly couple come over. The man sits…[...]
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Sock It To Me For My Birthday
(My husband is not one to care about buying clothes, so that usually falls to me. He also has a birthday coming up.)Me: “I noticed [Online Store] is having a…[...]
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She’s Not Giving You A New Hope
I’m an asexual woman, but back when I was in college, “asexual” wasn’t really “a thing.” I just ended up telling all my friends, “I don’t date,” as a personal…[...]
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Giving Him An Earful
(My boyfriend and I are lying in bed watching TV. We are spooning, with me as the big spoon. He is really talented at watching TV and forgetting the world…[...]
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The Bells Of Destiny
(My cousin is Chinese-American and a single child, and has recently announced his engagement to a divorced white American with three girls. She kept her ex’s name to match her…[...]
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Nintendos Before Hoes
(My friend is over for a night of video games and “bro time” when his girlfriend tries to video chat with him. Because he is playing the game, he doesn’t…[...]
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It’s A Crazy Dating World Out There
(I am talking with my cousin about her upcoming tenth anniversary.)Me: “It’s so great that you’ve managed to last so long in a happy marriage.”Cousin: “Well, it’s God’s blessing.” *pauses*…[...]
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Don’t Lecture Him About His Forgetfulness
(My husband and I just had an adventure that was 35 years in making. He is smart, but scatter-brained, and often forgets things overnight. Before he had a smartphone and…[...]
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Waterdude, Friends With Rodent Guy And Okay Fella
(A few years ago, my husband managed to be in the right place at the right time, and he was cast as an extra in a movie. It was a…[...]
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How Overgrown Is That Carpet?
(My husband and I have been having trouble with a particular appliance lately. I told my husband that I would ask my mother what brand she uses so we can…[...]
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In The Name Of Love, Whatever It Is
(There’s a regular who comes in once a week or so and talks my ear off the whole time. He talks at me, doesn’t ask me anything about myself, and…[...]
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Shaving Off Some Sun
(My husband finishes taking his shower and comes to sit next to me on the sofa.)Me: *snuggling* “You smell so good!”Husband: “Yeah, I ran out of shaving cream halfway through…[...]
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Playing A Game Of Political Chairs
(Australia’s frequent changing of Prime Ministers has become a running joke both there and in New Zealand, and they’ve just got a new one again. I’m getting ready for bed…[...]
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The Key To A Failed Relationship
(I’m standing in the front of our store, cleaning tables and cabinetry, when I hear some shouting. Across the parking lot, in front of the local corner store, a young…[...]
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The Church Is Hangry
My boyfriend and I are a multilingual couple. My first language is English, his first language is French, and the first language that we started talking to each other in…[...]
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A Storybook Romance
(I’ve dated guys, not a lot, but enough to make me wary of being geeky or showing how much I like to read. When I say I like to read,…[...]
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She Is Your True Call Of Duty
(My fiancé, while loving and caring, is not big on verbal declarations of love and affection. He is playing an FPS game and just lost a timed mission with a…[...]
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You’re Being Pun-ished
(Every weekday, my partner and I drive home from work together. I tend to get out and check the mail, as our mailbox isn’t that waterproof. This occurs on a…[...]
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Hard To Love A Morning Person
(I am chatting with my girlfriend while she’s in her psychology class.)Girlfriend: “According to Freud, being in love is loving yourself, projected onto an object.”Me: “Well, in that case, I…[...]
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Looking For Par’Mach In All The Right Places
Me: “What do you want to do?”Boyfriend: “It’s nice outside. Let’s close the blinds and pretend we don’t know.”(We then watched Star Trek all night.)[...]
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When Sleeping On The Job Means Not Sleeping On The Job
(I suffer from a fatigue disorder which has only within a couple of years begun to be managed by medication. I hate napping, because if I nap for more than…[...]
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Marriage Is A Sauce Of New Foods
(My husband was not a very adventurous eater before we met, and his mom was not much on cooking. I discovered this when we were dating and I would cook…[...]
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This Relationship Has Turned Sour (Milk)
(I have been dating my boyfriend for two years when our milkman asks me out. He and I are close to the same age, and he’s been delivering our milk…[...]
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Not A Top-Heavy Romance
(My husband and I are cuddling in bed, topless. He starts talking to me very tenderly and sweetly.)Husband: “Never leave me.”Me: “I would be the biggest fool in the world…[...]
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Nibbling On The Golden Years
(Every morning I have a regular couple. They always order the same thing, so today I decide to try an upsell.)Me: “Good morning, Mr. H. Is it the usual today?”Mr.…[...]
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Snaking Out Of That Argument
(My husband and I are in a heated argument.)Me: *at a volume of 11* “You are so inconsiderate. Acknowledge my feelings. You’re acting like an a**hole.” Husband: “You know, one…[...]
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This Marriage Is Such A Snooze-Fest
My husband has an incredibly loud and powerful snore. One night, I was awake with a bad migraine when his snoring went over the top, causing intense pain in my…[...]
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Victory Cream!
(My husband gets dozens of zits from dry skin if he doesn’t apply cream to his body after showering. He is lazy to do it and I constantly nag him…[...]
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That’s Some Really Crappy Sex
(My husband walks into our bedroom, naked, and slithers up into bed with me.)Husband: “So, I was just in the bathroom trying to poop, and I thought, ‘What do most…[...]
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Stan Lee… RIP
Many of us here at Not Always Right grew up with the marvelous comic creations of Stan Lee, and we were all sad to hear of his passing. In tribute…[...]
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Got His Seven-Up!
(My husband and I are eating a dinner of steak and garden peas together. Midway through the meal, he throws a couple of peas at me.) Husband: *giggles* “I just…[...]
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“Helpless” To Resist Adopting This Cat
(My husband and I have been talking about getting a new cat for a while now. I’m set on getting a rescue, but my husband is set on getting the…[...]
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Somehow Seriously Suggestive Sentences
(My boyfriend and I have a tricky arrangement where he works almost two hours away and stays there rather than commuting every day. He usually comes home for a long…[...]
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Need To Put More Than A Hundred Feet Between Me And You
(My car’s gas gauge is wonky, and one time my car unexpectedly runs out of gas while on the road, around early afternoon. Luckily, traffic is sparse and I am…[...]
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Getting Cross-Eyed At The Crossing
(My fiancé and I are in the car with my fiancé in the driver’s seat. We are heading down a long road that has at least two traffic light crossings…[...]
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It’s About The Turkey, See The Stuffing, The Potatoes Are So Mellow, I Yam What I Yam
– Sometimes it’s the simple things. – What’s the matter, pumpkin pie? – By any chance, did the writer fall in… and were they wearing green? It would explain the…[...]
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“Helpless” To Resist Adopting This Cat
(My husband and I have been talking about getting a new cat for a while now. I’m set on getting a rescue, but my husband is set on getting the…[...]
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Somehow Seriously Suggestive Sentences
(My boyfriend and I have a tricky arrangement where he works almost two hours away and stays there rather than commuting every day. He usually comes home for a long…[...]
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Need To Put More Than A Hundred Feet Between Me And You
(My car’s gas gauge is wonky, and one time my car unexpectedly runs out of gas while on the road, around early afternoon. Luckily, traffic is sparse and I am…[...]
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Getting Cross-Eyed At The Crossing
(My fiancé and I are in the car with my fiancé in the driver’s seat. We are heading down a long road that has at least two traffic light crossings…[...]
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It’s About The Turkey, See The Stuffing, The Potatoes Are So Mellow, I Yam What I Yam
– Sometimes it’s the simple things. – What’s the matter, pumpkin pie? – By any chance, did the writer fall in… and were they wearing green? It would explain the…[...]
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Black Friday Roundup 2026
Black Friday. The lines. The waiting. The impatient customers. The exhausted and grumpy employees. It can be so overwhelming. To refresh your spirits, here are some stories of those who battled…[...]
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A Long Time Ago, In A Ballet Performance Far Far Away
(My husband and I are at a performance of Balanchine’s “Stravinsky Violin Concerto,” which is a “mood” piece with no specific plot. I love ballet; my husband is not such…[...]
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This Artist Is Doomed
(When my TV is on but idle, it runs a slideshow of various photos and paintings. One night when my partner and I are settling in, we turn on the…[...]
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Monthly Roundup: October 2026
It’s time for the October roundup! Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in October deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of the…[...]
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Dressed To Impressionable
(This takes place in the midwest of the USA in the 1970s. I wasn’t born at the time this story took place but I’ve heard it multiple times. My father…[...]
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Why Did You Have To Be Such A D**k?
I have been working at my current company for about three years now as a trainer. This company seems to experience higher-than-average turnover due to the stress of the job…[...]
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A Recipe For Disaster, Part 7
(My boyfriend says that his parents will be in town for a brief visit in two weeks and have expressed an interest in meeting me. We decide that a quiet…[...]
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There’s No Sugar-Coating This Wasted Journey
A few years ago my husband I traveled from Ireland to the USA to complete a coast-to-coast road trip. One day we stopped for lunch in a restaurant that sold…[...]
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How To Get Picked Up By Guys: Look Homeless
(I am out late at night, walking to a convenience store. I lead a largely nocturnal schedule so I sometimes have to go to stores at night. I live in…[...]
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Monthly Roundup: November 2026
It’s time for the November roundup! Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in November deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of the…[...]
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Their Driving Is Nothing To Sneeze At
(I have PTSD from being in a severe car accident as a child that resulted in a traumatic brain injury. I am mostly recovered and normal as an adult. I…[...]
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The Cartoon Is On A Never-Ending Lupin
(There’s a cartoon series that I really like, and I’ve finally talked my girlfriend into watching it with me. Note that she’s really into cars, and I’m not. We get…[...]
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Leave This Story Out Of The Family Legend
(My boyfriend is in his last year of undergrad and studying for the GRE. I am a first-year pharmacy student. He has his General GRE exam tomorrow.)Boyfriend: “Quick! Name a…[...]
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Make Her Watch The Antonio Banderas Movie Version, Instead
Me: “[Friend] and I are forming a book club.”Wife: “Who?”Me: “[Friend, who I’ve known since childhood].”Wife: *mumbles something*Me: “What?”Wife: “Sounds like a couple of losers.”Me: “Would a couple of losers…[...]
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They’re Repeatedly Phoning In Their Relationship
(My wife and I are chatting with a friend of ours in the living room. We’re all on the couch, talking about my wife’s recent phone upgrade.)Wife: “When [My Name]…[...]
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“Nice Guys” Usually Aren’t
(There is a girl in my college class who was in a bad car accident when she was in her early teens, which resulted in her being heavily scarred down…[...]
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In Soviet Russia, Joke Is You
(My boyfriend and I are talking to the plumber about results of some water tests for lead, and about installing special filters called “curtains.”)Boyfriend: “So, about how much does a…[...]
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Perfume… Actually
(I am working on the fragrance counter of a large store on Christmas Eve when a man asks for my help selecting presents — women’s perfume. He tells me he…[...]
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Outlininder
(A commercial for Outlander comes on while my husband is watching football. Having enjoyed the story and historical fiction in general, I get distracted and, consequently, stop what I am…[...]
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Holiday Roundup 2026
Long before we started we had lots of stories that put smiles on our faces and cheer in our hearts. We offer you a present of a sampling of those…[...]
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His Jokes Are Unappeeling
(Overheard, walking out after a long movie:)Wife: “As soon as we leave, I need to visit the bank to deposit my check.”Husband: “But before we do that, I need to…[...]
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Checking You Out When You’re Checking Him Out
(It is the holiday season. My shift ends in ten minutes and I just want it to end without incident. My male boss is at the cash register next to…[...]
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Till Snore Do We Part
(Seeing my husband beginning to nap on the couch, I turn off the lights.)Husband: “Ah, thanks for being so sweet to me.”Me: *wanting to tease him* “Nah, that was total…[...]
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This Party Has Gone To The Dogs
(My boyfriend and I both really want a dog, but between our crazy work hours, we just wouldn’t be able to take care of one. We’re at my parents’ house…[...]
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About To Be NewlyDead
(After dating a year and a half, my fiancé and I are planning our wedding, or rather I am. My husband mentions he wants to hire some of his friends…[...]
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Informative About The Current State Of Humanity
(I am on a bus when I overhear these bits and pieces of a conversation between a man and his girlfriend. Apparently the man has bought a children’s ticket —…[...]
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Select Your 2026 Favorite Story!
Dear Readers!Welcome to 2019! We’ll be making a whole bunch of posts highlighting the NotAlwaysRight year in review.We’d like the help of you, our dedicated readers, to pick out the…[...]
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I Used To Be A Weird Husband, But Then I Took An Arrow To The Knee
(My husband is not a gamer, but he really likes watching me use my PlayStation because he enjoys my adventures. It should be noted that in “Dragon Age: Origins,” my…[...]
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Monthly Roundup: December 2026
It’s time for the December roundup! Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in December deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of the…[...]
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An Affair To Dismember
(Things my soon-to-be-ex told me, in reference to his five-plus-year affair, and my sarcastic responses…)Scumbag: “No, I wasn’t planning to divorce you so I could marry her. Of course not!…[...]
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Assisted Living And Leaving
(I work in an assisted living facility. A resident has just come back from an appointment. He’s signing in and we’re talking.)Resident: “My wife didn’t leave, did she?”Me: “No, she’s…[...]
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Just Axing For Trouble
This happens when I am a single 24-year-old. I am walking home through my local park around nine pm — so wickedly late! — when a girl comes up to…[...]
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Love Needs Its Beauty Sleep
(It’s very late at night, and I am sound asleep when my phone rings.)Me: *groggily* “H’lo?”Voice: “[Not My Name]? [Not My Name], it’s Bob.”Me: “Bob?”Voice: “Yes. I need to know…[...]
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The Top Rated Posts Of 2026!
Dear readers,It’s time to reveal the twenty highest-rated stories from 2018! 20 – 19 – 18 – 17 – 16 – 15 – 14 – 13 – 12 – 11 –…[...]
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Appallingly Unaware
(My boyfriend and I are playing a video game where you can get hit with electricity that either shocks or stuns you. We’re playing on two different monitors. He gets…[...]
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You Have Her Cornered
(When my wife and I are still dating, we usually stop by her parents’ place when we finish working on Fridays. On this particular Friday, we are going to have…[...]
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Oh, My Sweet Summer Boyfriend
(My boyfriend has taken a liking to a European candy that randomly showed up in our local grocery store, but once they run out of the first shipment they never…[...]
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They Both Want A Piece Of The Action
(I am a fairly large-chested woman. My husband and I are medieval re-enactors, discussing the type of costumes I’d like him to make for me. We’ve settled on a style…[...]
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It Needs To Be A Nudge Nudge Wink Wink Before It’s Official
(I have glasses, and sometimes when they get dirty I close one of my eyes and look to see if it’s that side of the glasses or the other that’s…[...]
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If You Still Have Underwear By Sunday You’re Not Doing It Right
(My husband has two hearing aids, and I often forget about them in the early morning before he puts them back in after showering, which makes for some interesting conversations.…[...]
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Just Be Present
(My partner has recently suffered a nervous breakdown and their therapist has ordered them to take a day off — absolutely no work, and nothing stressful. My partner is a…[...]
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Love Is True When It Can Mock Itself
(My husband and I are walking through the mall, on our way to buy a birthday present for a friend. My husband and I don’t really have a preference for…[...]
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Your Favorite Stories Of 2026!
Dear readers,We asked you to let us know what your favorite stories from 2018 were, and boy did you deliver! We’ve rounded up many of your great suggestions below. We’ve…[...]
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Technically It’s Bee Vomit, But It’s Still Sweet
(My parents rarely show romantic affection towards one another, particularly out in public. We’re all in the family SUV, and we’ve just gone through the drive-thru at a fast food…[...]
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So Excited They Could Puke
(I am on my second day of severe food poisoning when my girlfriend and I decide we absolutely have to go to the urgent care to get me feeling better,…[...]
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Hot Enough To Burn
This happened in 2003. I am male and had one male boss who was in his sixties and about 1,50 meters — five feet — tall. We were the IT-guys…[...]
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Tooth And Brain Decay
(My husband has just had some dental work done. He wants to brush his teeth, but we use electric toothbrushes, and he thinks those will be too harsh on his…[...]
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Lactose Intolerance Versus Lactose Ignorance, Part 2
Patron #1: “Why do you have two ice cream options?”Me: “One is made with cow’s milk, while the other is made with coconut milk.”Patron #1: “What’s the difference?”Me: “One is…[...]
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The Price Of Flirting
(I’m at a large home and garden store with my mom, buying a wedding gift for a friend. We head up to the cashier, an attractive guy around my own…[...]
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Phlegm Definitely Isn’t Cute
(My partner and I have a little routine. I say, “How did you get so cute?” and he says “Radioactive cute-onium!” This time, though, he has a cold.)Me: “How’d you…[...]
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