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When Lesbians Get Shirty

(My wife and I are both women.)Me: “That shirt makes you look like a lesbian.”Wife: “I mean, I married you, so… mission accomplished?”(I laugh and go to finish getting ready.…[...]

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Date And Dash

(My boyfriend and I frequent a 24-hour, diner-style restaurant. Since we usually go late at night, we get to know one of the waitresses. One day, my boyfriend seems to…[...]

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“Nice Guys” Usually Aren’t

(Parking around the university is scarce and expensive, but there is a train that stops on campus that has free parking lots farther away. After a long day of classes,…[...]

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Monthly Roundup: March 2026

It’s time for the March roundup! Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in March deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of…[...]

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Women Are From Venus…

(When I teach, I like to use interesting and practical examples whenever I can to keep the students engaged. We’re doing an essay on problem-solving, so I decide to show…[...]

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Read Into The Question More, Not The Book

(My boyfriend brings books to work to read when it’s slow.)Boyfriend: “Hey, should I read [Book #1] or [Book #2]?”Me: “Uh… [Book #1].”Boyfriend: “But what about [Book #2]?”Me: “I dunno,…[...]

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A Wheely Bad Joke

(When other cars are around, my father is a very good driver. When there aren’t cars nearby, he doesn’t pay quite so much attention and often slides a bit into…[...]

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Poke-man-splaining Is So Sexy

(For a brief time during college, my friend group hangs out with a guy who fancies himself God’s gift to women and whose favored way of flirting is to find…[...]

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Should Have Seen That Date Coming

(My roommates convince me to go to my first college party with them. Inevitably, I meet a guy. While we’re making out on the couch:)Guy: “What’s your major?”Me: “Psychology.”Guy: “Woah,…[...]

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Today Is A Good Day To Pho

(I’m sick with a bad cold, so my husband brings me soup from a nearby Vietnamese restaurant.)Me: “I should drink the broth for its healing powers. But there’s still some…[...]

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Boy, Were They Wrong!

(I recently moved to the city from my hometown in the midwest for my new job. A small group of my new coworkers has taken me out to their favorite…[...]

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Spiders From Space!

(My boyfriend and I are both arachnophobic, but he tends to be the spider killer because I am much more afraid than he is. One day we are on a…[...]

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The Worst Pickup Line In History

(My new coworker makes me incredibly uncomfortable, but for weeks I can’t figure out why. He doesn’t hit on me, he doesn’t ask invasive questions, and he’s always polite, but…[...]

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AS&MR

(I’m teasing my fiancé about how much he likes it when I talk in a particular voice during “fun time.”)Me: “You are such a dirty old man.”Fiancé: “Well, it’s like…[...]

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Good Looks But Terrible Memory

(My boyfriend hits his head and concusses himself in mysterious circumstances. He was housesitting alone; later sleuthing led me to the conclusion that he fainted, which he’s prone to occasionally,…[...]

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Frozen In Your Stubbornness

(I drive my partner to and from work so I can have the car all day. Our car doesn’t have a roof, so it can get pretty cold when it’s…[...]

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Mating Fall

(My husband and I are relaxing one evening on the couch, chit-chatting here and there. Then, suddenly, I let out an impressive — no less than five seconds — belch.…[...]

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It’s Not About The F****** Eggs

(I live south of an airport that spans two major metropolitan areas. Since I don’t have a car, anytime I need to travel, I’ll take a rideshare up to the…[...]

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Bridezilla: The Prequel

My husband had a falling-out with his former best friend after the guy cheated on our other best friend. (She found him in bed with another woman and immediately left…[...]

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Attack Of The Snail Spiders

Me: *screams* “There’s a snail on my side of the tent! Get it off!”Partner: “Why can’t you just be afraid of spiders like a normal person?”Me: “Spiders are more common…[...]

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A Short-Lived Romance

(This story happened to my father in the 70s, before cellphones and Internet. While going to university, he lived with three roommates; the first two were fairly regular guys, but…[...]

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He Was In Arizona All Along

(While we’re at the mall, I sit down at a table to take a break while my wife wanders off to look in [National Candle Store Chain]. When she comes…[...]

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Bullet: Dodged

(In college, I go on a blind date with a friend of a friend. I have a bad feeling about it, but I brush it off and tell myself it’s…[...]

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How… Romantic?

(A coworker and I are restocking greeting cards by section. I am working on the “love” cards.)Me: *holding up a card and reading the text aloud* “‘True love is life’s…[...]

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Meet-Cute At The Checkout

(My boyfriend has traveled to America to visit me. While checking out at a shop, he and the cashier are making conversation about that.)Cashier: “So, what brings you to America?”Boyfriend:…[...]

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Take A Hint, Not A Sample

(I hand out samples at a grocery store. There is an undercover security officer who always comes by and hits on me, despite the numerous times I’ve told him I…[...]

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Gut-Wrenching Puns

Boyfriend: *playing a video game on his phone* “I livered—“ *leveled* “—up!”Me: “You’ve got to be kidney-ing me.”Boyfriend: *silence*Me: “That joke wasn’t organ-ic?”[...]

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Stranger Things Have Happened

(I’m sitting In my room, watching a popular TV show that had a third season come out of July 4th. Just as things start falling off walls and flying around…[...]

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All Newborns Are Beautifully Ugly

(My husband had seven siblings who each had children long before we married. He would never have anything to do with his nieces and nephews when they were babies, telling…[...]

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The Mother Of All Awkward Goodbyes

(I’ve just met my daughter’s boyfriend for the first time after they’ve been dating for over a year, and he’s just brought us home from lunch with his parents. I’m…[...]

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Love Makes Fools Of Us All

(I am talking to a guy from the UK. We have a bit of a crush on each other but have never really acted on it due to the distance.…[...]

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Oh, Dear…

(One of my coworkers got married, and a few weeks later he is still very much in his honeymoon phase. Everyone in the office has heard about when he met…[...]

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I Don’t Love You, Man

(I meet this guy who is my customer at work. He seems normal, and we exchange numbers and agree to go on a date to the movies. We agree to…[...]

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I Don’t Drink Your Milkshake

(Shortly after my girlfriend and I start dating, I start making us fruit smoothies as healthy treats, but my girlfriend never likes what I make her and usually only drinks…[...]

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Bright Green With Envy

When I first started dating my boyfriend, he had a female friend that obviously had feelings for him. My boyfriend is on the spectrum, and I can honestly say that…[...]

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In A State Of Entitlement

(I like to post memes on my “stories” — a social media picture post that only lasts 24 hours. One such recent post references figuring out why my head hurts…[...]

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Heavy Metal Saves The Day

(I’m a sixteen-year-old female and taking summer school to get ahead in my classes. Since the school buses don’t run during the summer here and I don’t have a car…[...]

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Eduardo On The Other Eye Is Still Safe

(My boyfriend and I are laying in bed discussing the day, and I notice something. I’m a little sleepy and giggly.)Me: “You’ve got a long hair in your ear!”Boyfriend: “I’m…[...]

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From Myspace To Sharing Space

Years ago, my best friend, who is male, met a really cool girl who liked all the same music that he did. There was never anything there romantically, but they…[...]

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Recycle His Mind

(My husband and I are doing some cleaning over the weekend when this happens.)Husband: “Oh, and I threw out that one aluminum can earlier.”Me: *curious* “Why would you do that?…[...]

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Missing Cable Makes Marriage Unstable

(I have just arrived home for the holidays. Unfortunately, I have to turn in — i.e. upload to our e-learning platform — important homework for university on December 26th. I…[...]

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Falling Into Place

(My grandparents are riding their bicycles and the path goes over a stream. My grandma’s front wheel catches on a rut and she goes over the handlebars. She ends up…[...]

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In A Thrush To Dump You

My boyfriend and I had been dating for almost six months and it had been going great until one day when I started to feel a little itchy “down there.”…[...]

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Grunts, Love, And Coffee

(It’s 1997. I’m 20 years old and have recently moved back to my home city after a horrible breakup. I take a job selling electronics at a local mall retailer.…[...]

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Maybe It Was A Unicorn Frap

(My partner is the only one who drinks coffee, and she only drinks one cup. To avoid waste, we pour the excess into an ice tray and freeze it. She’ll…[...]

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Wake Me Up When “September” Ends

Me: *to my husband* “You realize this was already playing on oldies stations when they were babies, right?”Husband: *sigh of oldness*(The senior band starts playing Henry Mancini’s “Pink Panther Theme,”…[...]

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The Oldies Top Forty

(My partner and I are both Generation X. We’re in the car listening to the radio.)DJ: ”…and tune in this weekend when we play all the songs from the 80s…[...]

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An Unwelcome Shift

(We have a list of phone numbers at work so that we can contact each other to find coverage if we need to call off. The list is locked in…[...]

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Al Simmons Is Having Babies

(My wife has just gotten a letter; I ask her what it is.)Wife: “An invite to my cousin’s… What’s that called? Spawning party?”Me: “Baby shower?”Wife: “Yes!”[...]

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A True Horror Picture Show

(My boyfriend and I go to a midnight movie showing around Halloween. Though this movie is very popular around that time of year, it wasn’t part of my upbringing. I…[...]

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Love On Autopilot

(I work at the cafe at the university my boyfriend and I attend. One evening, we schedule to meet up and he arrives at the cafe about 30 minutes before…[...]

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Grandpa Was A Playa!

(When my grandfather was in high school, he and one of his friends made a bet to see who could take more girls on dates in one month. They both…[...]

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She’s Running Laps Around You

(As everyone knows, when a man brings a sweatshirt to an outdoor event, it becomes the property of his girlfriend. My boyfriend and I have season tickets to a local…[...]

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Cheating On The Survey

(I have been filling out a survey with this customer over the telephone, with a little small talk in between questions.)Customer: “You sound very attractive. Where do you live?”Me: *gives…[...]

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A Healthy Marriage

([Doctor #1] and [Doctor #2] are married. [Doctor #1] is a neurosurgeon and [Doctor #2] works in the NICU. They’ve made a cake for a coworker’s birthday.)Doctor #2: “Can we…[...]

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