My husband is just about to start a new job abroad, coming home for one week every month. We’ve had to put moving house on hold, and I’ve had to delay my lifelong dream to get a dog. We’ve both agreed that this is a great opportunity for his career, and the job market isn’t good enough to argue. But it still sucks. While he’s packing to leave, we had the following conversation.

Me: “I’m going to miss you when you’re away.”

Husband: “No, you won’t, you’ll replace me in the first week.”

Me: “You know I don’t have time for that. Where would I even look for a replacement?”

Husband: “At the animal shelter?”