Our dog has been scratching a lot lately, so my husband got some anti-itch ointment that our vet recommended. Just now, she started really going at it.

Husband: “Where’s the… the dog lube?”

I slowly turned to face him.

Me: “The “dog lube”?”

Husband: “Yeah, you know. Dog lube. For her scratching. I can’t think of a better way to say it.”

Me: “I’m sure almost any word would have been better. It’s next to the dog shampoo.”