CONTENT WARNING: Adult Intimacy

 

My boyfriend and I are on the phone.

Boyfriend: “I wanna lick your aorta.”

Me: “I’m sorry, my what?!”

Boyfriend: “I know how sensitive they are.”

Me: “Time out, time out. What part of my body are you talking about?”

Boyfriend: “Your aorta! Like, around your nipples!”

Me: “My areolas?”

Boyfriend: “Oh, it’s not aorta?

Me: “That’s an artery.”

Boyfriend: “Oh… s***. Sorry. I don’t want your blood.”

Me: “If I wanted a vampire boyfriend, I’d be a Twilight fangirl, thanks.”

Boyfriend: “So, they’re called… what… hairy-olas?”

Me: “Yours are…”