My wife and I are trying to aggressively pay off a medical bill, so we’re both working double time at our places of work. This means me picking her up at 2 AM from a late shift at her 24-hour grocery store.

I’m sitting in the parking lot when I see two customers both try to claim the same mobility scooter. I can’t hear every word being spoken, but from what I can make out, this particular scooter is “the best one” and “I come shopping here at this time because it’s always available.” 

The fight turns physical, and these two individuals start going at it. Among this craziness, I see my wife exit the store, walk right past them, not noticing a thing. She gets in my car, sighs heavily, and then asks me:

Wife: “Why are you staring at me like that?”

Me: “You just walked past two very large individuals having a physical altercation and screaming at each other. Look.”

I point the scene out to her, which is now more chaotic as security has turned up to break them apart.

Wife: “Hun, I just served a guy in a bathrobe and slippers… buying a single spatula and a six-pack of Vaseline. It would take more than that to make me do a double-take.”

She was asleep less than sixty seconds after pulling out of the parking lot.