(My husband and I go out to buy ramen and end up bringing home leftovers for later. I’m seven months pregnant — the constant hunger, I swear — and I want to save my noodles for the next day, on which I end up making a cup of noodles.)

Husband: *looks at me and my cup* “What’d you bring?”

Me: “Cup of noodles.”

Husband: “I don’t know you anymore. [My Name], you’re breaking my heart. You’re going down a path I can’t follow.”

Me: *looks at him confused* “Because of noodles? Are you serious?”

Husband: “Because of what you’ve done. Because of what you plan to do! Stop. Stop, now. Come back. I love you.”

Me: *still confused* “I’m not going anywhere?”

Husband: *starts walking away making lightsaber noises*