(My wife is nine months pregnant and is trying on new nursing bras in the bedroom. I’m sitting by the door, but in the living room.)

Wife: “Our bedroom smells like farts for some reason.”

Me: “Okaaaaay?”

Wife: “Wait, I think it’s just the plastic from my new bra.”

Me: “That… only raises more questions.”

(A few seconds later she comes out and basically pushes her chest in my face.)

Wife: “Random question: does my boob smell sulfury to you?”