Part 26
Unforgettable memories and hard-to-heal cracks.
Not only did Phuc hate the rain, but at this time, in another room, although large and beautiful, it was dark. Lightning occasionally flashed across the sky, illuminating the resolute face of the experienced man, with eyes filled with regret. He also especially hated the rain.
Because in a rain like that nearly 20 years ago, he lost his love. It was also the day Phuc lost his mother, and the love and protection of his father. Phuc began to slowly tell.
-My mother had a heart disease, at that time medical care was poor, and my family was in the highlands, so the conditions for examining and treating the disease were very difficult. Or maybe my mother knew but hid it from the whole family, and did not dare to seek treatment for fear of the cost. The disease would not be serious and not too worrisome if she did not give birth and rest well. However…
At that time, neither Mr. Danh nor his wife knew that she had a heart disease. The child came as a gift from heaven, so he was named Phuc. Plump, lovely, healthy, he is exactly the gold of his parents, especially to his mother, because that is the sacred duty that makes women proud.
Since Phuc was born, the joy of the small family was filled, but since then the burden on the mother’s shoulders has gradually increased without anyone knowing. She loves her son with all her heart, with patience, and unconditional sacrifice. As for Mr. Danh, for a secure future for his wife and children, he also has to work harder, worry more, so the time to take care of and pay attention to his wife is not as much as before.
The peak was after Phuc was over 2 years old, which was also the time when Mr. Danh decided to purchase products for people growing bamboo. It was also the origin of the current PBK group. During that time, he often went away, and his wife was almost responsible for everything at home. As Phuc grew up, he became more and more clever, active and especially stubborn, to the point that many people in the family shook their heads in dismay.
-“The boy is so naughty, seeing his mother working hard alone makes me feel sorry, haizz…”
But Phuc’s mother always responded to those words with a smile, she just thought that it was normal for her son to be naughty like that. She hid it from her husband to avoid making him more tired, or scolding the child, and when she was too tired, she could only take the child home to her mother. But even her parents and younger brother could only endure it for half a day before returning it. Gradually, the boy’s games became more and more perverse and excessive, yelling more and more also brought her frequent shortness of breath and chest pain. She became thin and pale, perhaps at that time she also knew about her illness but if her husband asked, she would say that she was tired and sick so he wouldn’t worry. Because it was also at this time that her husband decided to open a company, and build the first factory, his burden was not small.
Phuc remembered that he was only about 6 or 7 years old at that time, in the rare times when his father was home, he often held him in his arms and said.
-Dad is trying every day for you and mom.You will be fed well and dressed well, so Dad will not be home, the eldest son must obediently take care of Mom in Dad’s place, understand?
Before his authority, he kept saying yes, but when he left, he played more dangerous tricks, making his mother panic many times because of worrying about his son.
The memories of his childhood only brought with them countless regrets, making the tall man now clench his hands on the steering wheel and cry. Chi sat next to him and could only rub his shoulders continuously, feeling his pain rising in his heart, and tears welled up in her eyes.
– Do you really deserve to die… should you not have been born into this world… your presence only causes others to hurt and suffer… you should have died because of the mischievous tricks you played so that Mom could live longer, so that Dad and your family could still be happy.
-Brother, don’t say that…at that time you were just a child, I…I believe that you didn’t mean it, I also believe that you loved your mother very much…
-Love, love that makes your mother die, then it’s better not to love…
His shoulders shook again, because those terrible memories once again came back to torment him. There was nothing happier than him at this moment, the man still standing silently, caressing the photo in that dark room.
That day when the first factory was about to be inaugurated, was also the busiest but happiest day of Danh. Because he did not disappoint his brothers’ expectations, he gave them a place to freely contribute without worrying about anyone oppressing them, robbing them of their sweat and hard work. And most of all, he had a foundation to take care of his wife and children in the future, a prosperous life.
But in that joy, these past few days he felt restless and worried, maybe because the inauguration day was approaching but it kept raining, so he felt uneasy. Then he thought of the village scene with the simple houses and missed them terribly. -Maybe something happened
at home with mother and son , the storm is coming, maybe I should go back for a trip, anyway I will take mother and son to see the factory.
The thought flashed by but made his heart burn like fire, regardless of the dark rain above, he still decided to go back, not forgetting to buy his wife the bouquet of flowers she liked.
At the same time, at the other house, lunch was almost ready but Phuc had not returned from school yet. Outside, the wind started to blow the trees and dark clouds covered the sky, making the day seem like night.
His mother started to go out to look, then couldn’t sit still when she saw that most of the children in the village had returned. She asked one of the children who usually went with Phuc.
-Have you seen where Phuc went, the two of you usually go together.
-Phuc invited me to go along the stream bank to catch fish and pick flowers, but the stream water was high and I didn’t dare wade, so Phuc went alone.
-Oh my god… it’s been a while.
-It’s been a while, Phuc and I came back first.
Not having time to listen anymore, she hurriedly ran to the stream a few hundred meters away and then went upstream to find her son. It started to rain, and the strong wind whipped raindrops into her face, making her cold and unable to see the road. But that was nothing compared to the worry that her only son was in danger in the fierce water. She ran like the wind, ignoring the body shivering from the cold, and the pain in her chest that made her grit her teeth and stagger.
But the boy’s figure was nowhere to be seen, the water was still flowing and the stream was getting wider and wider. The anxiety that surrounded her made her already weak heart tighten even more, her breathing was only faint but she still tried to walk, just hoping that at the end of her sight she would see her son. However, what she saw only made her more desperate.
The school bag, the sandals, the still-white school uniform and the red scarf. Everything was thrown haphazardly on the rock, even a sandal was about to be swept away by the water, but where was her child…he said he went fishing…but the water was so strong…oh…
-Phuc…Phuc…where are you…my child…
the screams in the middle of the forest also drained her last bit of strength. She collapsed next to the rock, her eyes blurred and gradually turned into a pitch black, she was silent, only regrets softly echoing in her heart…
-It hurts so much…oh my chest…but my child has not been found yet…he is hungry and still refuses to come back…and my husband too, don’t let him worry…he is still struggling…we want to be together for a hundred years but we have only gone one-tenth of the way…I’m sorry…
She lay there hugging her child’s clothes, when the villagers ran out she could no longer get up.
Danh got more anxious as he got closer to home, he tried to run as fast as he could despite the raindrops hitting his face, stinging. He was only worried that the roof of the house in the countryside would be blown away, and his wife and children would have to live in fear.
– Honey, I’m coming home soon. After this trip, I will definitely build a big house for you and your children to live in.
However, those wishes were never expressed in words so that his wife could hear them. When he got home, he saw a crowd of people, including his mother-in-law and many relatives from that side. Everyone looked at him and avoided him, some sympathized and told him to hurry in.
They made way for him to enter the small room of the couple. His wife, wearing a newly made silk ao dai, lay there, still and pale, her eyebrows still furrowed as if the pain and worry had not yet subsided. Danh could not remember what he did when he touched her cold hand, could not feel her breath and heartbeat. He cried or screamed or perhaps neither, it seemed that at that moment Danh’s whole body trembled and then sank into a terrifying silence as if something had collapsed and sunk him into the bottom of the abyss.
But then there was still something that woke him up, his mother-in-law standing right next to him said.
-My child, Phuc has not come back yet, your brother and I are still looking along the stream. His mother was lying there because she could not find him. The doctor said that when they met, Phuc’s mother tried to whisper “find my son…” before passing out. He also said that his wife had shown signs of heart disease for a long time, she had been to the clinic several times because of chest pain. The doctor advised her to transfer to another hospital but she refused, probably because she was afraid that her family would worry and no one would take care of Phuc.
Even though his mind was spinning, his heart felt like someone had rubbed salt on it, he still tried to stagger to his feet, preparing to go to the stream to find his son. At least he had to help her fulfill her last wish.
At the door, the father-in-law, covered in mud, walked in, still empty-handed. The two men looked at each other with heartache, they were both having to endure losses that were painful to the heart. He shook his head and said to Danh.
-The village youth walked along both sides of the stream but saw nothing, afraid that… they had to give up, the water had risen too high…
So his son, the son that was the crystallization of his love and all his hopes, died without a body, not even a body to remember him? What could be more painful, unable to control himself, Danh collapsed, all the patience he had just now was too much for him to bear. The strong man who seemed to be able to carry a mountain now bowed his head, sobbing like a child in front of his house. Everyone who saw him let him cry like that, so that he could release some of the pain in his heart. The men
and young men in the village returned one by one, also erasing the last, already fragile hopes of finding the boy. The sky was about to get dark, although the pain had not yet subsided, Danh still decided to stand up and go to the stream to find his son, because more than anyone else he understood that his wife wanted him to come back and lie next to her. Even if only a body remained.
But in the distance, his brother-in-law gradually walked away, carrying a dirty boy by the scruff of his neck, it was not difficult to recognize that it was Phuc, his son. The boy held a bouquet of flowers in his hand, his eyes furtively looking around at everyone. His uncle did not say anything, just dragged him and threw him over the threshold, shouting, –
Come in and see, your mother was looking for you and now she is just a cold corpse, are you satisfied?
The grandmother helped the boy up, blaming her son.
– Why are you so cruel to your nephew, he is just a child, and he just lost his mother.
– Your sister died because of him, not because of anyone else. Normally, he was naughty like a robber, no one could say anything, making her thin and emaciated because of worrying about him. Today, after the storm, he did not come home from school and went to pick flowers. When his mother called him, he hid up in the mountains. If he had listened, and answered when she called, would she have died? Without illness, he would have died, let alone his sister…
His yelling stopped when he suddenly saw his brother-in-law, who he usually loved very much. That once strong man was crawling towards his child, but when he heard his sister-in-law finish speaking, the joy of finding the child that had not yet formed stopped. Instead, there was blame, regret, and pain. He blamed himself for not caring and understanding enough to realize his wife’s terrible illness, not being close enough to see and teach the naughty child to ease her burden. But no matter how much he blamed or tormented himself at this moment, it was no use anymore, his wife was forever gone. He collapsed in the empty corner like a soulless person, everyone who looked at him felt endless pity.
No one scolded the boy anymore. Because everyone felt sorry for the boy writhing and calling for his mother, everyone had tears in their eyes when they saw him put the bouquet of wildflowers in his mother’s hand and tried to hold her hand so that the bouquet wouldn’t fall.
Outside the rain and wind were still howling, inside the house, the crying was still painful. Danh sat huddled in the corner, his lifeless eyes staring at the mottled wall, he seemed to have died along with his beloved wife. Without eating or resting, he sat like a statue until the storm passed and everyone wanted to bury his wife, then Danh stood up.
I don’t know where the motivation and strength came from to help that man stand up. But there were indeed no more tears, only a silent but completely sober man, sober to the point of coldness. He sent his life partner to rest in the cold ground, burying with her a bouquet of flowers and his love. Indeed, after that loss, it was difficult for that man to love anyone again.
– “I promised you the whole world, but could only put a bouquet of flowers in your hands, I am useless. I am no longer worthy to say the word LOVE.”
Besides being cruel to himself, he also did not say another word to his son from that moment. When he had to return to the city, he only told his wife’s parents that:
– I will temporarily focus completely on work, the matter of her grave, and all the other things that you guys take care of for me.
The child who used to be a treasure, a precious treasure, is now lumped together and called “other things” and then thrown aside. Just like that, he buried himself in work and was content with loneliness. As for Phuc, from a hyperactive and active child, he focused on studying, after school he did housework, said yes, didn’t argue, wasn’t stubborn, just tried to get satisfaction from his uncle, aunt, grandparents, and especially his father. But 18 years have passed, the most important person to Phuc has not once smiled at him.