(My boyfriend and I are texting about a stupid way he injured himself. As we’re saying goodbye, because he has to leave, I say:)

Me: “I love you, too, idiotic boyfriend.”

Boyfriend: “I will always be like this.”

Me: “You won’t stay an idiotic boyfriend forever.”

Boyfriend: “You’re right; I’ll evolve.”

Me: “Into?”

Boyfriend: “From idiotic boyfriend into idiotic husband.”

Me: “I was thinking corpse, but husband is good, too.”

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