I’m a productive person.
I can wear makeup because I’m not a
bitch at my prettiest. And I don’t want
to steal husbands and I never respond
even if a husband hits on me.
It’s an expectation to be loyal to your
mate even if no one’s perfect.
Which is very obvious.
Furthermore, I don’t want to steal husbands!
and I never respond even if a husband
hits on me.
It’s rude to stare at a flower,
because flowers are delicate.
And you should just be happy that
they exist.
You don’t have to appreciate their
beauty because they already exist
just like that.
People don’t have access to me or
have more to say just because they
consider themselves pretty or are
prettier than me because I care about
personality.
And personality matters.
A lot.
And you shouldn’t be reliant on
anyone to make you feel pretty, or
intentionally hurt anyone
specifically for it.
Because then,
it’s not real beauty.
Or it at least doesn’t feel
like it.
And a free compliment doesn’t have
an expectation
of a clear thank you because I would
only do that for my husband.
It sounds extremely sensitive,
but I’m always thankful inside.
And I
make it clear anyways. And it isn’t a
pathetic thing to be thankful.
Because I am pure like that.
And you don’t get to judge me or
tell me
what to do..
or judge me and
tell me what to do..
Especially if you have done
anything illegal
because I don’t want to add more of
that part of someone to my life.
Because it already exists in the people
around me.
And I’m old fashioned
because I respect the dead.
Which you may or may not
hear about what I think later. If you wait.
And you don’t get to tell me what I am
and what I’m not- especially yourself.
And it’s hurtful to talk about those
things to people who care about me.
Because I don’t enjoy doing those
things either.
Ever.
It’s at least not a part of my
philosophy.
And I know it’s wrong when I do it.
I might defend myself, and it’s only fair to
discuss those things one at a time.
And then it is not my fault that you’re
convinced to live like me, because it’s
societally illegal to even know what I’m doing,
unless I meant to positively influence you.
and I reinstate that I am not perfect all
the time.
And people are stupid for
yelling at me walk.
Or trying to make me ugly from far
away.
Because you shouldn’t be rude no
matter what.
Especially if you reach out to me
first.
Or it is the first thing said in an
exchange of words.
Because I don’t believe
that cat-calling is a thing.
Greetings are great
or preferred.
You just shouldn’t cross the line
Even if the benefit of the doubt
creates meaningful relationships.
Which it does all the time.
And if someone hurts you that many
times,
maybe you should have extra
cautiousness towards that action
to defend yourself.
But it still doesn’t justify being rude.
Because being rude doesn’t help
anything.
Even though it’s really really hard,
not to
and even though accidents happen all
the time.
And people shouldn’t be thinking
about their
insecurities all day- especially forced
to.
Because it’s immature for it to make
you uncomfortable enough to want
someone to show awareness of it all
the time, because you wouldn’t like it
more anyways.
At the end of the day.
And people treat me however they
want
From fear of being inferior.
But it should be known that being
stepped on is wrong.
Not that this gives a reason to step on
someone.
Even though accidental definements
do happen about someone at times.
Which isn’t necessarily wrong either.
Because of mild concentration!
And saying sorry isn’t pathetic either,
because an expectation for someone
to change forever or getting even
more angry when someone does the
same mistake is crazy. You should
apologize if it took a toll on someone.
But you shouldn’t if it makes
someone even more angry.
And sometimes you deal with angry
things
by being proactive.
But that doesn’t mean you have to be.
And if it makes someone angry, then
they should never have watched my
actions.
Because it was illegal to anyways.
And I only give a couple people
permission to watch me. And they’re
not any more special than you for
getting that permission.
Because it’s just the most compatible.
And me walking around doesn’t give
you the right to watch me.
Because I am like a flower.
And everyone is equal.
And even if that’s what you don’t
believe,
you don’t have to go out of your way
to tell me that.
Because that’s just my philosophy.
And I hate Korea because they
don’t have a right to tell me who I am
or anything about my identity
just because my parents are from this
country.
And of course I wish the best for
them,
but the expectation to show it all the
time when I’m not even from there is
too hard when I’m even having
trouble here. And being a citizen for
two countries is something that is
earned. Which I haven’t.
Even if it’s hypocritical that I think
they don’t have the right to tell me
who I am just because my parents are
from this country, it is wrong.
It’s correctly almost impossible.
And the point of not being rich isn’t to
hate on other people or make them
feel dumb for being rich or showing
laziness or no effort.
Because wealth is about
thankfulness.
And sharing a silent hope for better.
Or an appreciation of
a past you don’t want
to remember.
Even if it is considered as
historic.
There are still things I want outside of
being rich along with its consequences.
Which might
make me want to have money on the
way. But sometimes, you get things
taken away when you worked so hard
to make it. And there are beautiful
tears from losing something
right after obtaining it.
But sometimes I have salty tears that
I’m not ready to handle.
And there’s a good middle that I’m
not perfect with, but I feel ready for.
And if that point means that you move
on to better things for you,
that’s good for you.
But I’m not there yet.
And that doesn’t mean I’m slow.
Because there’s a good middle that
I’m not perfect with,
but I feel ready
for.
And I do want to grow
But in the beautiful way that I want.
Not how it’s defined by you just
because it seems like it gets in your
way, you could do it better, you’ve seen
better, or that’s what you
believe.
I want to feel pretty without anyone
taking it off me so that I can reach my
peak loveliness.
I don’t want feeling
surprised that I look beautiful with
envy.
Because admitting envy is rude.
And if you’ve felt someone
being jealous of you, you wouldn’t like it.
Especially if their next plan is to try to
take things away.
Or covering me just to make
themselves feel even more beautiful.
In any way.
Especially if they got some of their
beauty from me.
Because it is unradiant.
And I don’t want anyone
amplifying my beauty without
permission because
you never know what intentions they
have. And I can pick up my beauty
myself.
And some people want fame, which I
do not,
because I overthink.
And it shouldn’t be a rare thing to
wish the best for someone.
Without lying or scheming or telling
me something wrong without wishing
the best for me.
I want acknowledgement that I am
doing things right,
and comfort when things are okay,
even if I didn’t do something perfectly
right.
Like allow being stepped on.
Because I am afraid to tell you that it
is not okay.
To not hurt your feelings, or give you
the misunderstanding that you might
be less beautiful
compared to or
relatively to me.
Which can happen in a second to
delicate people.
Or scared that you won’t stop
stepping on me.
So I will pretend that I have died and
can never get back up. So that I can
get back up after you leave.
Because of all of these reasons or any.
And if you wish to grow like me
without doing any of these things and
feeling like you were any less than
me, because everyone’s beautiful in
their own ways.
Then it is okay.
And I don’t want anyone trying to
prove whatever was the most
beautiful wrong, when they were also
being kind.
And it is wrong to comfort yourself by
clenching onto something that was
once unbeautiful.
Because growth exists, and thriving
is hindered by an ugly past.
If it doesn’t make you feel at home.
And this is me as a wife.
I could be more confident and
love myself more.
But it should not always be an
expectation
just for you to
not be
mean.
And if that means I must be beautiful
alone without anyone knowing,
I am okay with that.
Even though it is not ideal.
I don’t want my petals plucked to
check if someone special to you loves
you or not.
Because I do not want to be plucked
unless it is my boyfriend who will cut
my stem.
Who will put me in water until I am
vibrant.
And hang me upside down before I
wither so I can completely dry.
And preserve my beauty forever.
Left barely touched, since I am
fragile. Even if I become a different
color.
For his full enjoyment of watching
with care once I am in the form of a
dead flower.
Because there is matter that is left.
Preserved perfectly in this lifetime.
Before it degrades to dust while still
adding a fragrance.