I’m on a first date with a woman. I met her in our dogwalker’s club, and our dogs are friends. We’ve decided to visit a restaurant together.

When we get there, the first thing she asks the waiter is:

Woman: “What’s the most expensive thing on the menu?”

And she proceeds to order exactly that.

Me: “Do you expect me to pay for that?”

Woman: “Yes.”

Me: “No.”

I stood up and simply left.

Our dogs are no longer allowed to be friends.