I’m coming off a breakup, and my ex-boyfriend is having trouble understanding that the relationship is over. This exchange happens at the tail end of a lengthy text conversation.

Ex-Boyfriend: “Then go f*** yourself, you soulless happy!”

Ex-Boyfriend: “*Harpy. Autocorrect, sorry.”

Me: “Do you really need to apologize when autocorrect f***s up a message to someone you hate?”

Ex-Boyfriend: “You ALWAYS apologize for autocorrect.”