This takes place during the 2010 World Cup. The guy I am dating at the time is German and a huge soccer fan. He’s texting me one day during one of the games.

Guy: “I finally got my cousin to watch the game with me!”

Me: “The one in Germany?”

Guy: “Yep! We’re texting back and forth, so if I don’t reply to you, I’m probably talking to him.”

Me: “No worries. You soccer fanatics enjoy the game.”

About two minutes later, I get a text all in German with lots of exclamation points. I pop it into Google Translate and realize it’s a complaint about the game. I start typing that I think he texted the wrong person when another text comes through in all caps. I put that into Google Translate and it spits out two words: “S*** referee.” I laugh and text him back in English.

Me: “Why is the ref s***?”

Guy: “Because he sucks. Wait, how did you know that?”

Me: “Check your sent messages.”

Guy: “I TEXTED YOU?!”

Me: “Yep.”

Guy: “You speak German?”

Me: “No, but I can work Google Translate.”

Guy: “Then what did I just send my cousin? Hold on.”

After about two minutes, he texts again.

Guy: “My cousin wants to know why he got a text in English calling him ‘babe.’”