I work at a well-known grocery store, which is where this happens; an important detail is that I always wear bright red lipstick. Another thing is that, even though I’m twenty here, I still only look fifteen.

A couple in their fifties or so comes through my till with their cart full of groceries. As I check them out, the following interaction occurs.

Husband: “That’s nice lipstick you’re wearing.”

Me: “Oh, thank you!”

Husband: “Can I lick it off?”

I pause here, because I think he couldn’t have possibly said what I think he just said.

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Husband: “Can I lick it off?”

As I’m struggling for words, his wife steps in.

Wife: “You shouldn’t say that!”

Husband: “Why not?”

Wife: “She doesn’t like it!”

I’ve had enough of him.

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

Then, I turn to his wife, who is still being pleasant, and carry on the transaction, thoroughly creeped out. The guy leaves after a few seconds, and at the end, his wife apologizes.

Wife: “I’m sorry about him; he’s learning boundaries.”

Then, she left. If your husband is still learning boundaries in his mid-fifties, it’s time to throw the whole man out. It was probably the creepiest thing to happen during my time working there, and that’s saying something.