(My boyfriend and I are sitting on the couch while he’s playing video games. I have just finished a can of Coke.)

Me: “Man, I love Coke.”

Boyfriend: “We have to talk about your drug problem.”

Me: *not listening* “You know, I think if you and a can of Coke were drowning, I’d have to save the can of coke.”

Boyfriend: “What?!”

Me: “I know, but imagine how cold it would be coming out of the water!”

(My boyfriend went back to playing video games.)