Today we’re going on a hike, something I REALLY dig. We’ve made the long journey, been buckled-in and on the road for hours. To top it off, it rained the whole way, which made my mood a “lottle” sour. It’s like a little, but a lot. I guess at least now it’s cooled down, but my mood’s a little dampened thinking of the humidity and if the trails are too soggy. Just a little though because Momma’s resilient and adventurous; she doesn’t mind a little squishy mud and a few puddles. As long as it’s not too humid for us, she’s always up for a new adventure. She tells us, “Enjoy getting dirty while you can guys, because when we get home it’s straight to the bath.” Oh Momma. She’s the best. She says if the tub isn’t full of dirt and grime when we’re done, then we clearly didn’t have enough fun on our adventure. Those Stooges in the back make sure to take that to the extreme. I prefer to stay clean. I am after all on double duty. I’m here to protect momma, keep her safe and healthy, but I’m also on a super-secret mission none of them know about.

We’re finally here! The trailhead’s waiting; I can feel it calling. We’re about to have such a blast!

I’ve been on many hikes. Countless times. I’m a true-blue trailblazer to the core. I’m beyond excited about this trek. But I have a reputation to keep. So, cool, calm, and collected I sit. Although really, I wanna leap from this car! The others think I’m reserved and dignified. I am a professional after all, so I hide my uber-eager side. For them, I play it smooth, composed—absolutely unruffled, but really, this is an electrifying thrill! My body’s humming, feet itching for the coolness of the dirt, ears twitching anticipating the sounds of the wild, and my nose is ready to explore the sweetness of nature.

Phew. I almost lost my cool. Almost let my enthusiasm burst from my lips. Almost. I can’t act like the others, like a wired-up fool. That’s the difference between me and them; they just don’t have the self-control us professional human handlers do. Yep, it’s what separates royalty from the peasants. See, a true King, like myself, knows how to contain his emotions until he’s given the sign from Momma, the Boss, that I’m on a break from duty. It’s why Kings ride in the front and Stooges ride in the back.

The sun’s out, the rain’s let up, and it doesn’t look too soggy from here. The super-sniffer’s activated on this hiker pup. There goes Momma, prepared as always, flashing her park pass and telling the Ranger we already have authority here. They must’ve known we were coming, because he immediately pulled our sticker off his desk and handed it over to Momma with a map and a bow. Yeah, they know she’s the Queen of our castle clearly. Knowing Momma, I’m sure everyone knows her. She must be famous being a Queen after all. Since she calls our house the castle and me the King, I bet everyone belongs to our kingdom.

We’re through the park gate. Hurry Momma! Man, I hate these crawling park speeds, don’t they know the faster you go the sooner you get to where you wanna be? Oh my fluff, now there’s a camper in front of us trudging along. Don’t they know I gotta ‘Squatch to hunt? Clearly they aren’t from our kingdom or they’d know to let us pass right now. Tourists.

Oh thank heavens, they turned off. Now we can really get down to business. Momma hates crawling along too. Whoever made these suggestions clearly didn’t love nature or they would’ve known no one wants to waste time inching your way to gloriousness. For pup’s sake, now bikes in the road? These minions are really cramping my explorer’s groove today. We’re burning daylight. Wasting prime ‘Squatch-sighting daylight. It’s ok. Momma’s got it under control. She looks serene and majestic. I don’t know how she does it. Her decorum and stateliness are always on point, but I know her better than anyone. I can feel her anxiety picking up. She’s as ready as I am to get out of this traveling cage, stretch her legs, and hit the trails. She knows my super-secret mission. She always quietly tells me “Maybe today is the day we find him.” Momma senses these things, she’s the smartest, bravest, toughest person I know. I feel the electricity coming off her and the tension in her joints. She’s ready to explore too, but I know she’s also needing to move around soon before her body starts aching and trying to hold her down.

I mean mug the cyclists casually as we pass. Their ho-hum attitude is putting Momma’s comfort at risk. They must’ve known who we were. When they finally noticed our royal carriage, they scooted over with a wave. Momma stoically returned it, like any respectable Queen to her subjects.

Pawesome, we’re finally parked. Ugh. Those floofing mongrels in back are barking. Momma’s out, she’s coming ‘round! This is it. Time to sniff this ground! Wait, what’s she doing? What the howl? She’s opening the hatch. MOM! I’m ready to prowl!

Oh no, is she getting what I think she is? Man, this elder life really does stink. Dang it Momma, I don’t need that rolling indignity wagon. This is apaw-ling. Now my mood’s definitely Bassett-level saggin’. Why she gotta ruin the moment? I feel like there’s a percussion line in my chest. MOM! I’m a cross-country trekkin’, scent-chasin’, Sasquatch-huntin’, boulder-climbin’, log-jumpin’ poodle. I am NOT a soft-pawed, easy-ridin’, site-seein’, tour-takin’, leisure-seekin’, lazy stroller strudel!

It’s fine, whatever. Bring the nap carriage. But me? Ride in it? Never. She’s worried I’m too seasoned for this life, that I’ll need to rest. Which is sweet, but perturbing, because I’m in my prime, still at my best, still tough as nails and as strong as those bison we visited on last week’s trail. Her eyes get a little heavy and misty when she talks about me retiring one day. She’s worried for no reason though, I’ve got more miles on these paws yet. Oh floof, what am I saying? My experienced joints will be paying the toll of life after today. Just a little though. They aren’t worn out yet. But no one needs to know that tidbit, because I show everyone, I’m still the top shiznit. I am the head hound.

Alright, leashes on, it’s time to roll! I’m about to get my trail on; there’s nothing better for my soul. Holy sniff this is gonna be epic. I’m coming for you Sasquatch, just. you. wait. The dirt under my paws, the fragrance of the trees, the music of the woods; I’m a pooch on a mission, wild and carefree! Fur-esh air’s a real treat. Man, the great outdoors can’t be beat. Nothing is better than exploring with Momma. Those ulti-mutt Stooges think this is just an outing, just a fun adventure; they don’t know when I go ‘Squatchin’, it’s very serious. That I’m really scouting.

Today’s the day I find Bigfoot. I feel it in my bones. My veins are thrumming, anticipating the moment he makes one wrong move and I home in on him with my ‘Squatch radar senses and spot him with my laser-beam stare.

Or, maybe it’s just my sore joints from all these stones. No! Act tough. When I track that smelly, hairy, giant and corner him, he’ll cower and quiver in fear, because I’m the toughest ‘Squatch-huntin’ expert. I’ve gone ‘Squatchin’ all around. I’ve hunted him across the land, all terrains, all weather, nothing stops me from the pursuit. He’s just gotten lucky so far.

This ground’s getting a little steep and difficult. I think I need to rest my feet. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m kinda glad Momma brought the rolling senior hut. This has been a long trail and pretty rocky. I’ll pretend I’m using it for her, NOT for a much-needed slumber.

Hey, this is pretty nice. A bed, a view, a breeze, I’ve found a bit of a gem. I can see even further up here. Oh, I’ll definitely spot you now Sasquatch. No way you can hide with this new vantage point. This added miles to my scouting skills. The Stooges seem jealous they’re still having to climb the treacherous terrain. But, that’s the loss of being a peasant. They miss out on these little luxuries.

Sasquatch, don’t think because I’m strolling, that I’m not still patrolling the land and hunting you. I’m watching every movement on this path, every rustle in the leaves, every dancing shadow. When I spot you, you’ll feel my wrath. You’ll be terrified, shaken, stuttering. You’ll know the law has caught up to you for sure! Because I’m still a ‘Squatch-huntin’ master poodle on a mission, not a buggy-cruisin’ lap noodle on a vacation.

YAWN. I only need to ride for a little while. After all, everyone knows I’m still the top shiznit.

Looks like we’ve made it to the sunset spot. Time to post up and enjoy the view. Momma thinks I’m asleep. Silly Momma. A soldier on a mission never sleeps. I’m only resting my laser-focused muscles. There she goes, taking the Stooges down to the creek edge to see the fish jump. They enjoy watching the fish splash and flop. Maggie always thinks she’s gonna catch one someday, but Maggies slow and bumbles. You gotta be quick as lightning and as stealthy as a ninja to sneak up on a hopping fish. And you gotta be in the water, which Momma won’t allow. She says they are to watch, not catch. But it’s fun to watch Maggie tense and try. Brosie is scared he’ll fall in, Esi just wants to swim. Oh my family. They are the best. Even if it’s mostly Stooges.

YAWN. They are safe. They are happy. Maybe I’ll just catch a quick little nap.

I think I hear a rustle behind me. Probably just the wind. Is that a new smell? No, just part of my dream, I think I dozed a minute. It’s ok. Just a quick nap.

From behind the shadows of the trees in the fading light, Sasquatch watches the little poodle King yawn again and nestle down in his bed beside the picnic table. He’s finally asleep. The mom is distracted with the other little floofs at the creek. If he’s quiet and quick, they won’t hear him. This little brave hunter has searched for him on every trail. He even came close to spotting him a few times. Those few close calls really had him worried. It’s easier to hide when this little guy is trying to pull double duty though. His focus never leaves the mom for some reason. Almost like he’s her guard or protector. It’s sweet. It’s why he feels like the little guy should know he really is the best ‘Squatch hunter, truly a rival to be envied.

Sasquatch silently creeps over to the little rolling cart and peers into the bed. Sound asleep. Every hunter needs a rest once in a while. He gently strokes the little hunters head. “Sweet dreams little huntsman. Until the next trail, you rest,” Sasquatch whispers as he leaves a handprint on the underside of the roof where the little dog will wake up and find it. He slips away unnoticed as the little hunter begins to wake up.

What the floof? Was that a pat? Was I dreaming? Did Momma come check on me? What is that smell? No, it couldn’t be. Could it? I spring up and survey the land. Nothing. Not a hint of movement. I must’ve been dreaming.

Wait. Is that what I think it is? No. Surely not. Is that a giant pawprint? Could he really have come this close and I missed him? Oh my floof. Is that…could it be…no way. It is! Below my carriage, settled deep in the soggy earth…a giant footprint. I knew he was real!

Just you wait Sasquatch. The next trail, I won’t let the senior hut lull me to sleep. I’ll catch you. But maybe, maybe we can be friends. Anyone as stealthy as I am is surely an equal worth partnering with…

Dedicated in memory of

The bravest King I ever knew, who lived life virtuously and courageously and who loved truly unconditionally. He was love in its purest form.

His story is the greatest ever told.

Author’s Note

This story is based on my real-life service dog, Sir Didymus Ditto Mehaffey whom Heaven reclaimed on April 28, 2026 following a battle with early-stage kidney disease and a sudden onset brainstem tumor. He was diagnosed July 1, 2025 with CKD and given an estimated 6 months at most. He put up a brave and noble fight. On Jan 13, 2026 he was diagnosed with a sudden onset brainstem tumor and we were told he had days, maybe a week to two left. He proved he was a true warrior spirit by not only defying all odds, but he fought until the very last moment with everything he had. He was never giving up, much like his namesake in real-life from Jim Henson’s Labyrinth (1986). He was my brave little King for over 14 years and in that time, he became the perfect King.

He was my lifeline in more ways and more times than I can count.

He helped create our family and he helped create a hospice home for shelter pets. He had a true servant’s heart. From the moment these babies entered our car to their last breath, he never left their side in their times of need. He adored my other poodles, The Stooges as they are known, and never waivered in his protection of them either.

He welcomed and loved all. He gave fully of himself without hesitation or asking for anything in return. He loved deeply and purely. His mission in life was for everyone to know love, support, and family, and to have and feel these equally, no matter who or what they were or where they came from.

He took his role as a service dog very seriously and gave of himself even as he entered retirement to ensure I was always safe.

He enjoyed hitting the trails as often as we could and lived for the day he could catch Sasquatch. He truly was a “Squatch-hunting poodle and not a lazy stroller-strudel.

February 28, 2026 we had a devastating scare on a trip visiting multiple parks where he had a medication reaction and stopped breathing. Again that warrior’s spirit took over. After resuscitation him and sending up a prayer and telling him if he was still with me and wanted to fight, come back to me. He did. He perked up much like this story’s hero does at the end and he let the world know he had no plans of relinquishing his thrown yet.

Again April 25, 2026, a severe medication reaction caused a scare. His red blood cells dropped dangerously low. While those around us gave up hope of recovery, his eyes always remained on mine when I’d ask what he wanted. Within hours he recovered and was up showing his medical team just how strong he still was.

Sadly, on the morning of April 28, he met a sorcerer he couldn’t defeat. It wasn’t for a lack of trying. His servant’s heart was dedicated to me through the end and his warrior spirit fought the good fight. He remained himself through to the very last moment he ruled on Earth. A sudden brain hemorrhage was just too powerful a dark magic to battle. He slipped away in his sleep peacefully, after hearing his story overnight just before the hemorrhage cast its evil spell. He ended the battle on his terms and when he said he was ready, as only a King can.

He truly was the ravest Knight. The Perfect King.

And truly was

The best ‘Squatch hunter in all the land.