I just received my tax bill. Are you serious-a penalty? A late filing fee? Excuse me. For what? Everybody knows there’s no April 31, and April 1 doesn’t count. Why? Because it’s a federal holiday! Why does our government feel so entitled as to break the rules and laws? Everybody knows ALL bills get a fifteen-day grace period. Do the math. That means May 1 is the real income tax filing deadline. So how is filing my taxes on May 01 considered late? How come our government, with all its great intentions and flaws, can not calculate the accurate due date for filing income taxes? Aren’t they the ones who decided which month and number of days in each? Don’t they decide which holiday is celebrated in which month? Otherwise, why isn’t New Year’s Day celebrated on March 31 and Father’s Day in February? For real, George Washington was born in February. Isn’t he the father of our country?

Why isn’t there a federal holiday in August? Didn’t Christopher Columbus sail the ocean blue in 1492? Well, that was August 3rd, honey. Our country realized that women could manage voting, and graciously endowed that right in August. Of course, the beautiful state of Hawaii was indoctrinated into statehood. When, in August. All of this, and no federal August holiday? Why isn’t Labor Day celebrated in June? That’s the month it was actually signed into the federal holiday heavens by President Grover Cleveland. In fact, the whole purpose was to show appreciation to American workers for dredging through the horrors and monotony of overwork. Would it hurt for that whole month (June) to be a federal holiday? No, it wouldn’t. It is our work that produces, manufactures, creates, cultivates, manages, builds and grows everything that they tax. It’s only fair, considering most of us will have to work until we die, or learn to live without eating solid food.

But let’s look at the real audacity of this penalty. This is MY money that they (federal government) took (without my permission) out of my check. It’s not just the legal, but the morality scale on which that act ranks on the negative number scale. Does anyone agree with me? I don’t have a ton of degrees in anything, but we’re talking basic arithmetic here, pluses and minuses. That’s just to name a few of the malfunctions we suffer yearly. It could make you want to holler and throw up both your hands.

Obviously, they don’t really care about us! Stupid, because they, are actually, us. How smart is it to purposely cause one foot to go in a different direction than the other? How wise is it to stick a fork full of food, in your ear? Quite counterproductive, right? It makes me think we haven’t taken the time to count all the beans. That could put us all on a very destructive course. I think we’re all skating on thin, black ice already.

Are we savable? Maybe you’re familiar with the conversation between Abraham and God. Abraham had a sincere conversation with God, asking God to save his people. He says God, if there are just fifty good people in this whole city, would you save it. On a count of the fifty, God told him, he would. He thought about it and realized that might be too high a number. He went back and said pardon me God, but can I lower that to forty five good people? God said yes. He had to think about it a little bit more, and went back again. God agreed to thirty. The more Abraham thought it through, the more nervous he got. I know quite a few of these heathens, Abraham thought, as his confidence waned. A lot of these folk are my relatives, he thought. Well, God, he petitioned, I think we better shave that number down to ten. We know how that turned out. Let’s just say that the results were not good.

Unfortunately, they didn’t have A.I. (artificial intelligence). At least now, we are smart enough to know that our brains are crumbling under the mass overload of information continuously coming at us. We can’t seem to determine yours from mine, and good from bad. Not to worry. A.I. can handle all the millions of inputs, and mathematical possibilities that simply knock us out of the box. We won’t have to count beans. We won’t have to think about how to divide, add, or subtract. We won’t have to struggle. We won’t have to sweat anything at all. There is no subject, problem, or issue that artificial intelligence can’t solve for us.

It will take over. In fact, it can teach itself. It can control its own thoughts, and it can even correct itself. It never gets tired, angry, hungry, or embarrassed. Is this the power that replaces our collective struggle and willpower? How bad, or good, would that be? We’ll probably never know until we get there, because we won’t remember all the steps. We will, however, all be a mix of bionics and flesh, with our artificial knees, eyes, lungs, and hearts. Will we then be classless, colorless, and God please, odorless?

How many industries will that eliminate? I guess, at that point, we won’t need money, cars, phones, or clothes, being the machines that we are. Food, fuel, and shelter will be our biggest fights. Does that sound like the world you long for?

Though it seems that would leave us more time for leisure and less overworking in corporations. We’ll all have to be independent contractors of some sort. I only think that would work for me if I could create my own body and appearance. I will be an upright, walking ant. Laugh all you want. Ants have figure eight, armoured bodies (wings optional). I am already a Queen, so it wouldn’t be a hard transition, I’d like to think. My hair would be instant, and interchangeable styles at the drop of a hat, which I would never need, by the way. I would be able to fit into a string bikini with a thread, and I’d be able to camouflage myself in plain sight. That way, I could find out all of my kids’ secrets, and deeds.

I would build colonies of houses and rent them all out. I’d have all the money I wanted, and luxury raining down on me. I would vacation around the world, and make friends everywhere I went. I would give everything I didn’t need to the needy. I’d live on the beach in the summer, and on the mountainside in the winter. So wait. I guess I really wouldn’t need anything except fresh air and sunshine, and good friends. Hey, that sounds like the good life to me.

How ya gonna tax that IRS? I bet they’ll find a way. I’ll probably get a bill for over-breathing.