“Why does a cosmonaut need a gun, Papa?”
The corner of his father’s mouth rose. He followed Pavel’s gaze back through the museum doors to the display case holding the survival pistol.
“How old are you now—eight?” he said playfully.
“Eight,” Pavel said with glowing accomplishment.
“But why do they need one?”
“Ah—I can tell you the real story about why every Soyuz spacecraft has one. Come on, it’s beginning to snow.”
Pavel tilted his face into the snow for a moment, then sneezed. “It tickles my nose,” he said, wiping his face on his sleeve. Yosif smiled the way fathers smile at things they’ve heard a hundred times.
For his birthday, Yosif brought him to the Kosmonaut Museum—a brutalist block of concrete, thick-walled and windowed like a bunker, that made you feel small before you even stepped inside.
And yet Pavel could never get through the doors fast enough.
Pavel darted between exhibits like a live wire, face-planting against display cases to the staff’s visible annoyance. He wanted every gallery—to read the walls, study the photographs, and whenever he had a chance, he placed his hand on every space capsule he could.
Every time they came here, his father grew quieter.
Then he saw his hero: Yuri Gagarin—the smiling face every Soviet child knew by heart. There was a small speaker where, every few minutes, you could hear him shouting to the world, “Let’s go!”
“That’s me someday, Papa!”
His father, Yosif, had been standing there silently, watching his young one drink in all his favorite sights.
Then Pavel, with the same frantic energy, touched a large poster. He stepped back to get a better look and suddenly froze. He became so still that Yosif walked over to him. There Pavel stood, mouth open, wearing the peculiar expression children get when they suddenly understand how large the universe is.
“Papa… he looks so small up there… Who is that?”
“That, my son, is Alexei Leonov—the first man to step outside a spacecraft. He went on a twelve-minute spacewalk.”
“How does he know which way is down?” Pavel asked, his eyes glittering with intensity.
He continued staring at the single cosmonaut, tethered by a five-meter line, drifting beyond anything he could name.
“Pavel, behind him you can see the Caspian Sea—and that is all of Europe. He could see it all at once.”
“Was he scared?” the boy said, still staring at the photo. “Can you imagine—one day—seeing the Moon up close, or perhaps even walking on it? That’s what I am going to do.”
Yosif smiled. “I believe you will.”
“But was he scared?” Pavel asked again.
“Oh yes, he had his moments. Actually, he was having one during this photo, I believe.”
“What do you mean?”
“His spacesuit became inflated—expanded, like a balloon with too much air. He could no longer squeeze into the re-entry hatch.”
A look of wonder struck Pavel’s face.
“Look at this right here—can you read it for me?”
“March 18, 1965. He must be old!”
“And… that is my birthday! It’s today’s date!” he exclaimed with growing excitement.
Yosif laughed and motioned for him to continue.
Pavel leaned in and read aloud: “Alexei’s body temperature soared to thirty-nine degrees— on the verge of heatstroke. His suit had ballooned so severely he could barely move. He bled oxygen from the valve just enough to squeeze back through the hatch.”
Pavel looked up at his father. “That had to be the most frightening thing he faced, right, Papa?”
“Follow me. Let’s sit over here, away from everything.” Yosif grabbed his son’s hand, and they walked over to a quiet lounge. A few families sat nearby, but it was mostly empty.
“What did you ask me earlier?”
“Why does an astronaut need a gun? I saw it on display—that the Soyuz capsules have one onboard.”
“That was not the only scare Alexei faced on this trip, Pavel.”
The way he said it made Pavel draw closer. His mind raced through the possibilities.
Space espionage?
War with the Americans?
Aliens?
“On the journey back to Earth, something went dreadfully wrong.” Yosif sighed in a way that made Pavel understand this was personal.
“Did you know his daughter was only four at the time—when she saw him outside the spacecraft on national TV? Do you know what she said?”
“What, Papa?”
“‘Tell Daddy to get back inside.’ She burst into tears. I will never forget it, son.”
“What went wrong on their return?”
“Everything seemed to be functioning correctly. They wanted to re-enter near a city called Perm, just west of the Ural Mountains—you know, where I grew up before we moved further north. You spent last summer in our dacha.”
Pavel knew that dacha. He had spent last summer slapping mosquitoes in those same trees. They had never once mentioned this.
Pavel nodded. At the edge of his vision, a small cluster of children in school uniforms had drifted closer, led by a museum worker carrying something he couldn’t quite make out.
“We are not totally sure why this happened, Pavel. Their automatic landing system malfunctioned—or it was turned off. I don’t know. All I learned later was that they were in emergency mode. They landed nearly four hundred kilometers from where they were meant to—deep in the Ural forest near Perm.”
Pavel opened his mouth—then closed it. Behind him, the cluster had become a crowd. He could feel them there, perfectly still—all of them waiting on the same word he was.
“I know this, Pavel, because I was one of the men they sent to find them.”
Pavel looked at his father and understood, for the first time, why he always grew quieter here.
Before he could find a single word, a museum worker appeared at his father’s side and offered him a microphone. Yosif took it without looking away from his son—and then, finally, turned to face the room.
“Thank you, my dear audience.” He paused, gazing at the children—his own among them.
*****
“My name is Yosif Ibragimov and I am no cosmonaut.”
He let that sit for a moment.
“In my younger days—at twenty-three—I was the nation’s greatest cross-country skier.”
“Skiing in space? What is your point, Mr. Ibragimov?”
Laughter rippled through the crowd.
“On March 18—yes, this very day—something went dreadfully wrong when one of our greats returned to Earth.”
“Two men. Alone. In the dark. In March. Ural Mountains? What could go wrong?”
“As you know, Voskhod 2—the flight that made history that morning—came down far from where it was meant to, deep in the Ural forest. For two full days, they were out there—alone.”
“Tell me—what lives in our wilderness?”
“Rabbits!” one girl chirped.
A light chuckle followed.
“Bears,” a boy said confidently.
“Baba Yaga!” a mischievous voice shouted from the back, causing an eruption of laughter.
Around him children laughed and nudged each other. Pavel kept his eyes on his father.
“Yes—rabbits, bears… I am sure they even thought about Baba Yaga. They were deep in the forest with nothing to protect themselves. The man hanging from that line above Earth—the first to spacewalk—believed it might take three months to find them. Perhaps only with dog sleds.”
“That morning, I woke to banging on my apartment door. Three men stood there in formal military attire. They told me to follow them—our nation needed me. Outside, I glanced up at those old familiar posters plastered on every wall. Glory to the Conquerors of Space!”
Pavel stood a little straighter without realizing it.
Then a long pause.
“The next thing I knew, I was in one of many helicopters flying over the wilderness. The forest stretched endlessly — as if anything inside it was fair game. My heart raced. I knew I was better than everyone else around me. They gave me a compass, wished me luck, and advised me not to get eaten by a bear.”
The audience roared with laughter.
“Oh, I remember it as if it were yesterday, children. One thought would not leave me the entire way. Just one.”
“Will we find them alive?”
“I had no answer. So I skied.”
“The air was cold and crisp. I could smell sweet pine. The snow crunched beneath me. That familiar slicing sound of my skis cutting through virgin territory. No man skis these parts.”
Pavel noticed the museum staff had stopped pretending to work.
“The boreal forest rose before me—the pines ancient and enormous, black against a sky where moonlight made the shadows move. The deeper I pushed, the more the trees closed behind me, swallowing the sound of everything familiar, until there was nothing ahead and nothing behind—only the forest.”
“Ah—it was beautiful. I will not pretend otherwise. I felt the woods tell me something, children.”
“They told me that day: I existed ten thousand years before you arrived, and I will exist ten thousand years after you are gone.”
“The canopy was dark and dense, the cold cutting through my jacket as if I were wearing nothing at all. Somewhere far above me, through gaps in the branches, I could see stars. I thought briefly—absurdly—of the two men I was searching for. They had just come from up there. Now they were down here. Same stars. Very different situation.”
“My legs seared with exhaustion. I pushed harder than ever, knowing I was dangerously close to losing the rest of my team.”
Pavel’s eyes were wide, absorbing every word.
Around the room, children forgot to fidget.
“Something large moved between the pines—shifting like dark shadows in the night. I remember thinking—children, what would you have done?”
A hand shot up from somewhere in the middle. Someone shouted, “Climb a tree!”
Yosif pointed at them, eyes wide. “Exactly what I wanted to do.”
“I slid to a stop and tuned my ears to the forest. I strained my eyes to see but the snowflakes being blown from the tree tickled my nose and danced on my eyelashes.”
“That’s my line, Papa!”
Yosif winked at him—then kept going.
“And then—nothing. Where did the shadows go? Was it now behind me?”
The children leaned forward. Pavel had never seen his Papa like this.
“I could hear the wind. Branches groaned and swayed as if burdened…. I will tell you the truth—please do not tell anyone. Promise?”
“Yes!” they shouted.
“I am glad I have such an honest crowd before me today! My secret is this— all I heard was my own heart beating in my ears.”
The room laughed—then fell quiet again.
“To my relief, I saw two figures in the distance, moving slowly but skiing toward us. One of them raised his arm—just once—when he saw us. Their figures were hunched against the cold, leaning into every stride. And suddenly we were all shouting: it was them. We had found them.”
The audience rose in a standing ovation. As the applause faded, Yosif looked at his son.
“Pavel, you asked me a very good question today. Do you mind sharing it with everyone?”
“Why does an astronaut need a gun?” Pavel asked, without the timidity his father had feared.
“For two nights, those men were alone in the wilderness with nothing between them and the dark. Wolves circled. The forest did not care who they were or what they had achieved. What they carried was not enough.” He paused. “That small pistol in the museum case today—that is the answer.”
*****
After the presentation, Yosif and Pavel stood alone in the room. Yosif gently placed his hand on his son’s face and looked him in the eye.
“Happy birthday, Son.”
Pavel looked back at the photograph one last time—March 18, 1965. Today’s date. Leonov still hung there, small against the void.
“Look over there—what is on that bench?”
Pavel walked over slowly. He leaned down.
It was the same photograph. But now it carried Leonov’s autograph.
Pavel turned. For a moment he could not speak. Then he ran back and threw his arms around his father.
And in his arms, Pavel felt it—the thin tether holding everything fragile in the world.