I am checking out a bickering old couple. The gentleman is moaning about the cost of everything, and the lady is explaining why she needs them. I have just scanned an air freshener.

Husband: “How much?! For some fresh air?! That’s ridiculous. Put it back!”

Wife: “Are you willing to step outside when you drop one of your eye-watering farts?”

The husband just stares at her, angry, but seemingly without an adequate defense.

Wife: “As I thought. This next item is to unclog the shower drain. Shall I go into detail about why we need that, also?”

Silence.

Wife: “Wonderful.” *To me* “As you were, dear.”