(My boyfriend sometimes talks in his sleep. Usually it’s gibberish or a word or two. Usually. It is about an hour after we go to bed, and he rolls over and faces me…)

Boyfriend: *tries to take my pillow*

Me: *takes it back* “[Boyfriend], stop. You’re taking mine!”

Boyfriend: *tries it again*

Me: “Babe, stop.”

Boyfriend: “Okay.” *takes pillow from me anyway*

Me: *takes it back* “Why are you taking my pillow?”

Boyfriend: “Because there’s butter everywhere!”

Me: “…what?”

Boyfriend: *louder* “There’s butter everywhere!”

Me: “Are you dreaming?”

(Pause.)

Boyfriend: “Yes.”

(He immediately fell back on the bed and started snoring. I asked him the next morning if he remembered what happened and he had no idea. It still makes me laugh thinking about it.)