I’m a young male working behind the counter of a well-known clothing store. A young woman walks up with who I assume is her boyfriend since he’s got an arm around her.

Me: “Hi. How can I help—”

Before I can even finish, she grabs the guy by the collar and begins hardcore making out with him, all with overly nasty, wet noises and sloppy tongue action that I feel like I would expect from a comedy flick. I stand there dumbfounded, trying to figure out what’s going on. She then finishes and nearly pushes the guy off. She turns to me and gives me a very smug look. And I’m just wishing she would wipe her face.

Woman: “See? That’s how a real man kisses his girlfriend!”

Me: “Uh… okay?”

Woman: “Bet you wish you were him, huh?”

Me: “I’m sorry, did you need help with anything?”

Woman: *Gives an exaggerated scoff* “Please! I have him now! I don’t need you anymore!”

Me: “Do I… Do I know you or something?”

She’s about to say something but stops and begins staring at me with a puzzled look. She looks down at my name tag and goes bright red. She whispers something to her boyfriend and then quickly runs off, leaving us both in awkward silence.

Guy: “So, uh… She mistook you for her ex and forced me to come in here and make him jealous. I guess she saw you yesterday while shopping and was certain you were him. To be fair you do look a lot like him.”

Me: “I see…” *Motioning to his chin* “You got a little something there.”

Guy: *Wiping his face with his hand* “Thank you.”

He walked away awkwardly. I decided it was time to take my break.