I’m going on a date with this guy.

Guy: “I only swiped right on your profile because you’re a blonde. I always swipe right on blondes.”

Already, I understand why he didn’t successfully match with any women before me. But he goes on.

Guy: “How long has it been since you last colored your hair?”

Me: “A while.”

The last time I colored my hair, I made it shock pink for fun a bit more than a year ago.

Guy: “It’s, uh, time to color it again.”

Just in case you’re wondering, all of my profile pictures have my natural hair color.

Well, out of g**d*** spite, I went home and dyed my hair black.