I take our puppy out for walks really early every morning.

Wife: *Very serious.* “You need to be careful out there. It’s coyote mating season, and they’re roaming around.”

Me: *Not as serious.* “Understood. I’ll do my best to be less attractive to the coyotes.”

Wife: *Looking me up and down.* “Actually, for you, I’d be more worried about the cougars.”