My boyfriend answers the phone. I can only hear his side of the conversation. Throughout, he speaks in an affected, high-pitched voice with a somewhat problematic fake Mexican accent.

Boyfriend: “Heeeeellloooo… Ees Kaptin Deeeeeldo.”

Boyfriend: “Theee Micro-sof? No Micro-sof here. Ees home of Kaptin Deeeeldo!”

Boyfriend: “No beerus. Noooooo. Kaptin Deeeeeeldo is berry klean.”

Boyfriend: “Ho-kay… Kaptin Deeeeeeeeeeeeldo, he check. You wait.”

[Boyfriend] stomps through the house with his phone, yelling:

Boyfriend: “Meesta Micro-sof! Meesta Micro-sof! Man say you been very naughty… hab beerus! Meesta Micro-sof… ohhhhh… ohhhh-kayyyy…”

[Boyfriend] puts the phone back to his ear.

Boyfriend: “Helloooo… Ees Kaptin Deeldo.”

Boyfriend: “Yeee-esss. Meesta Micro-sof, he say he no beerus. He good boy. He wear con-dom. Eben wit’ your mama. He say you bad man. He say you—”

Boyfriend: *In his normal voice* “He hung up. Guess he had no comeback to Mr. Microsoft.”

I threw a pillow at him. He is still getting calls from scammers. I think they just need the entertainment.

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