I work as an assistant pastry chef, and due to the nature of my job, I don’t have weekends off. This can make it hard to see friends, especially as we all reach our late twenties and start doing things like getting married and having kids, but one of my old friends and I finally end up with the same day off.

We are going to see a movie, but we decide to get a drink first. Keep in mind, it’s like 6:00 pm on a Monday, so we’re two of maybe eight total people there, counting the bartender. We order our drinks, and my friend goes to use the bathroom while I wait by the bar. As I’m waiting for her, this dude who looks to be in his early thirties comes up to me.

Guy: “Hey, are you here alone tonight?”

Me: “No, I’m with a friend. She’ll be right back.”

Guy: *Clearly not listening* “Uh-huh. So, you have a boyfriend?”

Me: “Well, no, but—”

Guy: *Cutting me off* “Then how about I get your number?”

Me: “Oh, no, thank you.”

Guy: “Why not? You’re cute. I’m cute. We should hang out!”

Me: “Well, actually I—”

Guy: “Don’t try to pull the ‘Oh, I’m not looking for something right now,’ because I know that’s just an excuse. Why don’t I buy you a drink and we can chat?”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Guy: “Come on! You said you didn’t have a boyfriend! Why won’t you give it a chance?”

Bartender: “Hey, dips***! This is a lesbian bar!”

Why the row of flags in the front window didn’t tip him off is what I want to know!